Not Quite Picture Perfect

So today’s the day that I dread each year…school picture day.  I mean, I used to dread it when I was a kid, but now that I’m a parent, it has a whole new meaning.  It’s the day when I bring my clean, well-groomed, perfectly dressed children to school, in hopes of getting a good decent picture in oh, say, 2-4 weeks.  But it never works out that way.  Some how it ends up being the day that sippy cups leak on the way to school and the kids have to be changed into clothes that don’t match (and probably have stains on them).  It’s the day Greenleigh finds a marker and proceeds to draw all over her face.  In an attempt to clean the marker off of her, I end up smearing it until she is the perfect shade of blue, but only on the left side of her face.  It’s the day finger paints are the morning activity…and yes, that actually happened one year when Greenleigh was a little under a year.  I understand that the kids need an activity, but seriously?  Finger paints on picture day?  You’re killing me.  It’s the day Greenleigh then finds a fork and starts re-doing her hair, because clearly I have no sense of style.  It’s the day Hazeline wakes up way too early and is extra cranky.  The list goes on and on, because all of those things (and more) just happen to fall on this exact day.  Somehow the universe just knows – It’s school picture day.

I love photography.  I love pictures of my kids.  But school pictures?  Not so much.

In fairness, I forgot about school picture day last year.  Hazeline was still 4-6 weeks old and I was operating on very little sleep.  There were tons of reminders; I just forgot.  As I walked Greenleigh into school, I noticed other kids were a little more dressed up than normal and then I remembered – Picture day!  Damn it.  I hurried to smooth Greenleigh’s hair and assess her outfit, but it was too late.  Naturally, the picture is…um…special.  Her hair is sticking straight up in the front, her clothes are all but hanging off of her, and the blank stare she’s giving the camera is hysterical.  Good thing I now had an 8×10, several 5x7s, and what seemed like 100 wallets to commemorate the event.  Not exactly the best use of $60.

But those school photo companies are smart – They have you commit to buying the pictures before you actually see what they look like.  Before the picture is even taken.  So while I know there is a 99% chance that they are going to be not so great, I order them.  Because, really, you can’t not order them.  What parent wouldn’t want a picture of their child?  And there’s always that little voice in the back of my head that says, “what if this year’s picture is actually good and I didn’t order it?”  But even the little voice knows the chances of that are slim.  And yet, I can’t stop myself from writing that insanely large check.  I have to do it.  Only to be disappointed in 2-4 weeks and know that I did this to myself.