It’s that time of year – the time when proud moms and dads everywhere post pictures of their kids at their dance recital. All your child’s hard work over the past year, condensed down to 2 minutes on stage, a $20-30 theater ticket, and too much makeup.
It’s been a little over a week since my daughter’s recital and I can honestly say that I’m not quite recovered. I don’t know why recital is so stressful or requires so much hustle and bustle, but after being a dance mom for 4 years, I can assure you that it is and it does. If you’re a dance mom, these are things about recital you probably understand:
- The required hairstyle will push every limit you have when it comes to hair. Last year I mastered the bun. Seriously, it looked ahhhh-mazing and I was completely convinced that I’d nail it again this year…only to find out that it was a side ponytail this year. In case you’re wondering, the side pony is the hardest of all ponies to conquer.
- Rehearsal will run behind. And your child will be extra squirmy that day. If your child is little, keeping them quiet and content will no doubt resemble wrestling a 40 pound bag of snakes in a dim theater while people “shush” you.
- The makeup will be intense. You know it’s a problem when you go into a drug store and spend more on makeup for your child for one day than you spent on your own makeup for the last month. The desire to be able to see your child on stage will cause you to think this isn’t so bad, though you’ll probably still hear your husband’s grumbling about ladies of the night and street corners.
- You will inevitably have to stop on the way home from recital or rehearsal and be judged for having “all that makeup” on your child’s face. Doesn’t matter if it’s the celebratory lunch at a fancy steakhouse or the McDonald’s drive thru, this judgment must occur, and if it doesn’t, the comments on Facebook pictures will make up for it.
- Recital always runs longer than expected. Always. Think that recital will be a quick in-and-out 2 hours? Think again and get comfy for 3 to 4 to even 5 (seriously, my younger daughter had a 5 1/2 hour recital one year, what the hell were they thinking?). Did I mention that your child is probably only dancing in 2 – 10 minutes of it?
- After watching your child practice their dance no fewer than 3,287,729 times in class, you will know all the steps of their dance and catch yourself attempting them from your seat during the performance. Pray the person in the seat next to you doesn’t notice your jazz hands.
- Your child will outgrow their tap, ballet, or jazz shoes 2 weeks before the recital. They will hurt “sooooo bad” that they couldn’t possibly perform without new shoes. At least they’re cheap compared to the $100 costume you just bought.
- There will be shimmying. Way too much shimmying for their age. Please make it stop, my husband is about to have a heart attack.
- You will wonder how such a small costume can cost so much. Why did I not think to major in “Ripping Parents Off on Tiny Dancewear” in college? I could be rich!
- Despite swearing it off in college, you will buy Aqua Net again. Hey, that side ponytail isn’t going to stay still with anything less. Ozone layer be damned.
Did I miss anything? What is your recital “truth”?
