My New Response to that Pregnancy Comment I Always Hated

This morning, I forgot Everett’s sippy cup.  It’s the second time in 4 days that I’ve forgotten to put his sippy cup in his daycare bag.  It would be fair to say my average this week is not awesome.  The first time (Tuesday) I didn’t realize it until late in the day, but today, I noticed right as I handed him over to his daycare teacher.  Perfect timing.  Because not having a sippy cup isn’t an option, I headed over to the local drug store to see if I could pick up a replacement.  After sifting through several $9 sippy cups (for 1 cup!), I finally found a oddly designed sippy for $5 that would probably work for the day.  I grabbed it and made a bee line for the register, because none of this was on my long list of things to do.

As I stood in the checkout line, I noticed the lady in line in front of me was buying Lucky Charms, milk, and apple juice.  Clearly a woman after my own heart.  My mind drifted to thoughts about my own breakfast and I just barely heard the clerk say to the woman in front of me, “So when are you due?”

Although I had barely been paying attention up until that point, I immediately started praying the woman in front of me was actually pregnant.  Because who hasn’t been a witness to one of those conversations?  Awkward.

Luckily, the woman in line nodded, and in a small voice added, “Next week,” while attempting to look everywhere and anywhere but at the woman asking her questions.

At that point, I took a deep sigh of relief.  Thank goodness – She was pregnant!  But that moment of relief only lasted a second, because the clerk quickly followed up with, “Yeah, you look like you’re really due.”

Those words were like nails on a chalkboard for me.  I absolutely hated comments like that when I was pregnant.  Comments about being “really due”, “ready to pop”, “big enough for twins”, “due any day”, and anything like it…especially when they were wrong, which actually happened to me when I was 26 weeks pregnant with Hazeline.  So in that moment, I decided to do something about it.  Just as it looked like the clerk had more to say, I interjected, “Really?!  You’re 39 weeks?  You look fabulous!”.

Suddenly, the girl trying to quickly run her credit card through the card reader stopped and looked up at me.  After thanking me for the compliment, she assured me that she most definitely felt 39 weeks pregnant.  I sympathized.  After all, I’d been in her position 3 times before.  We then chit-chatted about it being her third (and final) pregnancy and how she couldn’t wait for the next week to pass.  As we said good bye, I wished her well and told her to hang in there.  She thanked me again and headed out the door.  Our whole exchange lasted maybe 1-2 minutes, if that, but I’d like to think it was a positive part of her day.  At least, more positive than when the clerk said she looked “really due”.

Here’s the thing – I totally get that the clerk at the register meant well.  I even understand that she had no obligation to inquire about the pregnant lady at all, and any attempt to do so was of her own doing and only to be nice.  And to some, I’m sure that the words look pretty harmless.  I totally get it.  But those types of comments – being really due, ready to pop, due any day, big enough for twins and the similar – all sound the same when you’re pregnant: Fat.  Really, really fat.  They’re words that can really hurt at a time when your hormones make you most vulnerable.  And trust me, when you’re late in your pregnancy, chances are you already feel fat 99.999% of the time, so you don’t need to be reminded.  That lady in front of me in line didn’t need or want to hear it, just like I didn’t need or want to hear it when I was pregnant.

So to today, I decided to be proactive.  To fight back against one of the pregnancy comment that I really hated.  To turn something that would have ruined my day when I was pregnant, into a (hopefully) positive experience for someone else.  And I intend to keep spreading words of encouragement when I see it happening around me in the future.

It’s a new movement, people.  Let’s keep it going.