When Greenleigh was a little over 3 months old, all hell broke loose. Suddenly, and without warning, she stopped sleeping. And she went from being a tough but happy kid, to an insanely difficult kid – particularly at night. The child that we could take to a restaurant for dinner, became the child that screamed to the point where we had to leave restaurants. It was awful.
As a new mom, I wrote the lack of sleep off as an early onset of the four month wakeful period. And I wrote the change in attitude off as a result of less sleep. How could anyone be happy if they never slept? And it felt like she never slept. EVER. I was at my wits end. I was exhausted and my sanity was dwindling.
After weeks of this madness, I had no idea what else to do, so I made a doctor’s appointment. I had no idea what I was going to tell them, I just had no other options.
So we hurried into the doctor’s office bright and early the next day- a Saturday – to see a doctor other than our regular pediatrician. When she entered the room I explained how this situation had been going on for weeks. The doctor listened to me for a moment, scribbled something in Greenleigh’s file, and then began her exam. And within a second of looking in Greenleigh’s right ear she announced, “A raging ear infection in this ear…”, only to move to the left ear and come to the exact same conclusion. A raging bilateral ear infection – her words, not mine.
And then I cried. Right there in the exam room.
I had known about the changes in her behavior for weeks. Literally, weeks. In fact, about 2 weeks before – on one of those occasions when my husband had actually taken Greenleigh home from a restaurant when I stayed behind with the friends we had met there – I texted my husband, “Maybe it’s an ear infection?”, only to second guess myself because there was no fever.
Simply put, I knew there was something wrong, but I did nothing about it. Even worse, I questioned that “gut” feeling I had 2 weeks before. Two weeks.
Tears rolled down my cheeks as I heard the doctor say something about amoxicillin and the not likely, but possible, hearing loss. We left the doctor’s office that day with a prescription and my faith in my ability to be a good parent rocked to its core. Maybe I couldn’t do this after all.
It’s been about 4 1/2 years since that day in the doctor’s office and I’ve learned a lot in that time. I’ve learned that my children tend not to get fevers when they get ear infections. I’ve learned that changes in sleeping patterns are the number one indicator of ear infections for my babies. I’ve learned that Greenleigh doesn’t respond well to amoxicillin. But most of all, I’ve learned to trust my gut. Especially if it has to do with my kids health. I don’t care if I’m in the doctor’s waiting room every week or every day – although, thankfully, it’s never come to that.
I think as moms, we all have at least one moment that we wish we could go back and do differently, and mine (or one of mine), most definitely, is the decision to ignore my gut when I thought it might be an ear infection. I can excuse a lot of my mistakes from those first few months as “rookie mistakes”, but I just can’t let that mistake go.
So last week as the pediatrician on call gave me a puzzled looked over his reading glasses when I explained why we had landed in the office that evening (namely that Everett came home from daycare tugging on his left ear and just days before had inexplicably stopped sleeping well), I understood…but I didn’t back down. It was clear from the doctor’s demeanor that he questioned my mental health more than my child’s physical health, but I didn’t care. I even let him babble on about how babies Everett’s age (4 months old) “don’t really get ear infections anymore”, without going into the 4 specific instances where Greenleigh proved that statement completely and totally incorrect. And as I apologized for wasting his time after he pronounced that Everett’s ears were “crystal clear”, I wasn’t really sorry at all.
Because while my gut might not be right every time, I’m sure as hell never going to ignore it again.
Stick with that mommy instinct! I learned the same with my 4 1/2 year old too. A couple of months ago when my 2 year old showing signs of an ear infection, I took him to the doctor. Since our our pediatrician was not in that day, we saw another one. He looked in the ears. Nope, no problems. I know I gave that doctor a mean look. I said are you sure? The doctor looked again and sure enough, there was an ear infection. So, I say stick with your instinct and be persistent if you have to.
I’ve learned the hard way too, except it was strep throat here. I felt horrible! Now I don’t care, if my normal routines don’t clear it up in a couple of days they are bundled up and taken into the doctor no matter how crazy I may see.
Glad to know the little one is okay.