What’s in a Birth Plan?

We’re to that point in my pregnancy where my doctor’s appointments are becoming more frequent and they’re starting to ask me more about my plans for labor & delivery: Where would I like to deliver?  Do I want an epidural?  Do I want to be induced?  If so, when?  After the baby is born will we have him circumcised?  Do we have a pediatrician?  So many questions to consider it makes my head spin at times, and yet, I’m a third time mom so I should pretty much have this down by now, right?  Wrong.  But I know how important it is to have a plan.

You see, when I went into my first delivery, I didn’t have a birth plan.  At all.  I figured, who cared what I wanted, it was all up to the doctors anyway.  Plus, my hospital had all these crazy regulations.  What did my plan matter?  I. Was. So. Wrong.  And because of it, my first delivery was not so awesome.  I was bullied, harassed, and threatened by the doctor, who didn’t think I was pushing hard enough.  My husband and I were asked for legal advice when I was 9 cm dilated.  My husband was told, not asked, to participate in the birth of our daughter in ways that he didn’t want to.  They turned off my epidural without consulting me (or my husband).  My IV was placed in a location that caused me to hurt for days.  I was given an episiotomy even though I begged for it not to be done.  It was awful.  Simply awful.  I mean, except for the gorgeous baby I got out of it.

But as luck would have it, my delivery with Hazeline was different.  So much different.  This time I had a plan.  Same hospital, same crazy regulations, but I went into that delivery room in charge and no one was going to talk me out of it.  I told them where they could put the IV – and where they couldn’t.  I told them what role my husband would be playing in the delivery.  I asked that they count me down from 10 to 1, instead of just asking me to push as hard as I could for as long as I could (I needed to see the light at the end of the tunnel, and for me, counting down did that).  I insisted on an epidural and told them not to turn it off without speaking with me or my husband first (the doctor and I actually had this conversation about 1-2 weeks before my due date).  And the difference was night and day.  Simply put – My birth experience with Hazeline was not just amazing, it was empowering.  And I still got to take home a gorgeous baby.

Because of my experiences, I highly, highly recommend that everyone have a birth plan going into Labor & Delivery.  I don’t care what type of birth you are planning to have: vaginal, C-Section, hospital birth, home birth, water birth, medicated/unmedicated birth – absolutely everyone should have a plan.  At the very least, talk to your significant other or who ever will be with you during delivery about what you want your birth experience and the days following birth to be like.  It won’t always go as planned, but that’s the way life works sometimes…and it might just just end up better than you planned.

But figuring out exactly what goes into a birth plan can leave you scratching your head.  For starters, you can find easy birth plan worksheets by going here or here.  And although both of those worksheets are pretty thorough, I would also highly recommend considering the following:

• What role does your significant other want to play in the delivery of the baby?  My husband lobbied very hard to be waiting in the delivery room the entire time (hell, he would have been in another county if I’d let him), but I vetoed that option.  Instead we agreed that he would stand by my shoulder the entire time.  During my first delivery he was told to hold my legs, watch the baby come out, and cut the cord.   My second delivery, I was adamant that he stand by my shoulder and not be asked to do anything, but surprisingly he offered to cut the cord this time.  The difference was, it was his choice.
• Who do you want in the room when you deliver and how do you plan to “evict” those who will not be there for the birth?  For some people, the more the merrier, but for me, I want there to be as few possible people in the room when I deliver as possible…if you didn’t contribute to the making of the baby or have a medical license/degree, you are not welcome in my delivery room.  Sorry.  But we had discussed this with my doctor beforehand, and she agreed to kick everyone out before I started pushing.  This might have been the only nice thing that my first OB did for me.  You might also want to check into your hospital rules and regulations for this one…surprisingly, ours didn’t have any restrictions, but I know lots of hospitals limit the number of people who can be in the delivery room.
• How soon after the birth do you want friends and family to come visit (in the hospital room or at home)?  I’d been in labor so long with Greenleigh (nearly 24 hours in the hospital, and 2 1/2 hours pushing) that there were people waiting to come into the room after she was born, but honestly, I wasn’t up to it.  I was freezing, shaking, dizzy, and looked like hell.  I would have much preferred that they take the baby to the nursery for every to view her there as opposed to people coming to see me.  Personally, I love having guests at the hospital, but I need at least 3-4 hours after delivery before they can come into my room.
• If you already have children, particularly young children, do you plan to introduce them to their sibling at the hospital or at home?  We were sure that we wanted to introduce the girls for the first time at the hospital, as soon as possible.  We will probably do the same this time around, but will will try to prepare them a bit better…Hospitals can be scary places for little ones and even though I wasn’t hooked up to anything, the IV that was still in my arm scared Greenleigh.  This time around, I want to make sure that they take the IV out of my arm and make sure I can get out of bed before the girls come to visit.
• Do you plan to make any donations to science?  We didn’t have the option to donate cord blood the first time around, but we did the second time, as my hospital was working with the University of North Carolina on a research project (I’m in Florida, so I don’t get the connection, but whatever).  Unfortunately, we didn’t know it until I was 8cm dilated and having contractions every 2 minutes.  Oh, and did I mention that the form to be filled out to donate needed to be done before the baby was born and was approximately 34 pages long, including multiple questions regarding if either of us had intercourse with farm animals, prostitutes, or people of the same sex within a 6 month period (seriously).  We made it through in time – the nurse actually had to read the last few to me and I had to give verbal answers that she transcribed – but barely.  See if your hospital offers this, decide if you’re going to do it, and fill out the paperwork before hand.

Did/do you have a birth plan?  Anything particular on your birth plan?  What would you recommend expecting moms consider before heading to the hospital?