I’m so sorry to ask you to go such a short distance,” I barely managed to squeak out as I hopped into the cab and closed the door. “I’m just so…so…pregnant.” An alarmed taxi driver snapped to attention in the front seat, looking at me from the rear view mirror, concerned that I might be in labor right then and there. I was a solid 30 weeks pregnant, looking very much the part, and out of breath from standing on the curb hailing a cab…at 30 weeks pregnant (in fairness it doesn’t take much for me to be out of breath lately). After assuring the cab driver that I was not, in fact, in labor we proceeded to my destination 7-8 blocks away. An embarrassing distance, really.
And there it was, blatant use of the Pregnancy Card after only a few hours in Chicago. I probably could have walked. I probably should have walked. But I didn’t. And as much as I wish I could say that I put my Pregnancy Card away for the weekend after that single, solitary use in that cab on Thursday evening – I didn’t. It actually got to see a good bit of Chicago after that.
Unlike so many other women, I won’t lie to you – the Pregnancy Card exists. I’m not saying it’s right. I’m not saying it’s okay. I’m just saying that it happens.
For those of you who aren’t familar, the Pregnancy Card is the excuse for all those little things you just don’t want to do. More specifically, it’s that perfect excuse for those 10 less than perfect months of your life when you’re creating another human being. It’s the excuse that’s hardly ever questioned. Hell, even my husband doesn’t have the guts to call me out when I’m using it…because, you know, I’m busy creating life here. And it covers just about anything. Most use it occasionally – in my case it’s normally to avoid the side-eye when taking an extra dessert or walking several blocks in heels during a blogging conference – but we all know someone who has abused it. And we roll our eyes as we’re told that pregnancy precludes them from doing virtually anything that they did before getting pregnant.
But as my pregnancy progresses, I find that most of the people abusing the Pregnancy Card aren’t pregnant at all. They’re people using, or rather, abusing it on our behalf. On my behalf. Most of the time, when I wouldn’t have even used the card myself.
The list of things I can’t do seems to grow longer as the days go by, from the odd (driving more than 50 miles per day) to the ridiculous (walking through grass) to the “OMG, I wish that were true” (vacuuming). Truth be told, if I actually adhered to the growing list, I would have been on bed rest a long time ago. I know they mean well (a least, I think they do), but I’m often left wondering if they’re just making things up as they go along or if some pregnant person out there has led them to believe these things. Regardless of where they’re getting their information or how accurate it is, the real problem is when they tell my friends, boss, or anyone else who will listen about all these restrictions, leaving me to set it all straight.
So today I say to the world – Quit using and abusing my Pregnancy Card! Besides, I’ve got to save that for other things…like getting out of cooking dinner tonight. What? You don’t really expect me to stand long enough to cook dinner on these swollen feet, do you?
I hated when others used my Pregnancy Card my first pregnancy. Especially at work. I was a young 19 year old who was able to do a ton of stuff while pregnant, well because I was young lol. But my boss would barely let me pick up a small stack of paperback books. I rarely used it the first go around.
The second one however, I pulled it out as much as possible (with in reason or course).
I just want to know why the I’m A Mommy on My Feet All Day Chasing Kids card isn’t working like it should to get out of cooking dinner or cleaning house. =)
You know, now that I think about it, I probably use the Pregnancy Card more with this pregnancy than both of my others put together, but it still bothers me when people make up things that I can’t or shouldn’t do. Glad to hear I’m not the only one!
And I totally agree – the “I’m a Mommy on My Feet All Day Chasing Kids” card just isn’t the same…
There’s the other card I tend to abuse at work regularly..the Girl Card..like “can you carry this big heavy box to whomever” or ” I can’t hang this up because I need a drill” ..yeah..I can carry 50lb bags of horse feed and have probably used more power tools than most of them here but I’ve found it strokes their egos and I don’t have to do the icky stuff I don’t want too!!
I totally get that. My question is, would you be upset if they were like, “Oh, you can’t do that. Your a girl.” Because when I hear things like that, I take it as a challenge. 🙂
Use that card to your advantage, but I agree, others shouldn’t be abusing it. It’s yours and yours only 😉
I used the hell out of that card when I was pregnant with my last baby (#4). It was a long pregnancy… longest ever if I remember correctly and I was a lot older when I was pregnant the last time compared to the first three!
Use it. You deserve it. Besides… you can’t use later.
Excellent point, Jackie. I suppose it’s a limited time offer. And why is it that pregnancies seem to get longer the more you have? I just don’t get it. Sure, I’m a little freaked out that I’m due in just 40 or 50-something days, but when I look back, I feel like I’ve been pregnant forever!
I’ve barely gotten to use the card myself let alone anyone else. lol. I’ve had to park far in parking lots, move aside for people walking down aisles (like I have room to move!) Hold door open for other people…what the hey?! No one seems to notice the bump..and it’s big!
I did get my yard completely cleaned up sine the shower is being held here, but that was partially traumatizing to have others digging and trimming and not having any control over it.
The one time I get to hold out that card though is backrubs from the husband. Yep…Doctors orders. They’re good for circulation..right?
Sounds like we need to get you a bigger Pregnancy Card…lol. But, I’m a little jealous that you get backrubs from your husband!