Raising one daughter is stressful enough for a dad. Raising two can triple the damage to your nervous system. Even though the math doesn’t add up right, the stress level can compound exponentially as the drama raises to new heights that you never thought were possible. If the two girls are close in age, you beg for a moment of peace. I am sure this is why fathers golf. Not because they enjoy it, but because it gives them several hours of silence from “she hit me” or “that’s mine!”
1. Grandpa – Most little girls around the age of eight have little dolls such as a cabbage patch doll that they call their “baby.” It’s in a female’s nature to nurture and it can start at any age. Aside from how disturbing this sounds to Daddy, there is a far worse comment. It’s when your daughter walks up to you for goodnight kisses and she says to her doll, “Say, goodnight Grandpa” when your skin crawls. The first thought that usually crosses the minds of fathers everywhere is, “That better be the last time I hear that.” It is best not to dwell too much on this line of thought. If you ponder it for too long, you could almost see the future unfold in the worst possible way. It is better to change the subject and move on.
2. K-I-S-S-I-N-G – Sometimes, the girls begin talking about how they like a boy in school. Most of the time, it is one of the dullest nails in the box. Of course, no boy will ever be good enough for our little girls. All we can do is put the fear of pain and anguish into the heads of these little boys if anything were to happen to our precious princesses. Girls will quickly move from the Barbie stage to the makeup and purse stage and we need to prepare for it. Unfortunately, children will jump the gun when it comes to growing up and it’s going to happen whether we’re ready for it or not. Can we at least light the cigarette before the firing squad unloads?
3. The Backtalk – If you have a sarcastic family dynamic, you can be rest assured that the sarcasm will begin around the age of eight. If it catches you off guard, you’ll wind up laughing a bit while you’re trying to be serious. For instance, Mommy will say, “What part of be quiet do you not understand?” And little one will answer in a hushed tone, “The quiet part.” Depending on your particular mood, the situation can unfold one of two ways. Either you are trying your hardest not too laugh, at which point Mommy suggests that you sleep on the couch that night. Or, you can get very upset that baby girl would say something like that in the first place. More often than not, it’s the smile on your face that you hide from Mommy. However, time and place are everything with sarcasm. Setting a firm rule for such talk needs to be a priority or the situation will escalate to absurdly disrespected levels. It is best not to show the daughter that the comment tickled your funny bone no matter how funny it may have been.
4. Mathematical Skills – One of the most amazing moments in your life as a daddy is when your little girl begins calculating multiplication and divisional mathematics in her head. Unfortunately, she begins calculating what year you were her age. And it’s not like she is doing this quietly. In a voice for everyone to hear, she goes down to the 1980s and beyond. At this point, the cuteness factor of the exercise has been lost and you are ready for her to go on to something else.
5. Technology – Nearly every parent has been faced with this dilemma and you can probably remember some of your own moments with your parents as well. When your little girl looks up at you and asks, “Were there televisions when you were my age?” you realize that you’re getting old. Although there were indeed televisions technology such as smartphones, tablets, and fast Internet capabilities had a whole different look. Cellular phones were the size of brief cases, monochrome 64kb PDAs were newly developed, and the Internet was a computer in the library that gave you a list of the books that were available. Of course, this is also dependent on how old you are currently. Some of us may not have even had that.
While children can say the cutest things at a young age, everything begins to change close to the age of seven. Cute comments turn into sarcastic comments, especially if you live in a sarcastic family to begin with. It can be a rough time for Daddy as the girls begin to grow up. You wish you could prevent them from growing, yet you can’t wait for the drama to end. There is no winning for the father of little girls.
Author Bio: Ken holds a master’s in business leadership from Upper Iowa University and multiple bachelor degrees from Grand View College. As president of morningsidenannies.com, Ken’s focus is helping Houston-based parents find the right childcare provider for their family. When he isn’t working, he enjoys spending time with his three children and his wife.
