Hazeline has a favorite teacher. Well, several favorites, but one in particular that she goes running to each morning, all the while saying the teachers name under her breath until she reaches her arms. They hug a big hug, and then the teacher carries her around to all the other class rooms. Don’t worry, she’s not spoiled or anything [insert eye roll here]. Hazeline is actually so attached to her that at the end of the day, she often doesn’t want to leave daycare. And who could blame her? She gets hugs and snuggles and carried around all day…if I were 23 months old be a pretty big fan of hers too. It’s even gotten to the point where the teacher has offered to help me out of school and get Hazeline buckled into her carseat.
Earlier this week Hazeline once again ran through the school door and immediately into the arms of her favorite teacher. Big hug and carrying ensued. There were smiles and giggles galore. The teacher then looked at Hazeline and said, “Don’t do that, your mom probably doesn’t like that very much,” insinuating that I would not be okay with them enjoying the teacher’s company so much.
But here’s the thing – It doesn’t bother me at all. Not even one little bit.
The teachers then told me a tale of another child, a little boy, in Hazeline’s class who is very attached to the other teacher (there are 2 teachers for Hazeline’s class). A few days before when the mother was dropping the little boy off and the teacher said, “There he is, there’s my prince!”, to which the mother immediately responded, “No. My prince.” Either the same day or a day later, the mother was crying tears over her son wanting to be with the teacher as opposed to her.
I don’t fault that mother (although I think tears might be a little extreme for the situation), but I don’t get it either. I mean, they’re 1 – it’s a fickle age.
Sure, I wish Hazeline wanted to come home at the end of the day, but in all reality, I’m actually really happy that we’ve found a place that my kids like. A place where they feel comforted and loved and safe when they aren’t in my care. And I’m glad that they have someone to spoil them, even if it can’t be me (truth is, they probably let her get away with a ton more than I let her get away with). Of course, she’s going to get attached to someone who she spends 40+ hours per week with. And I don’t think the teachers are crossing any lines that would be considered “inappropriate”.
Here’s the bottom line – For 9 months Hazeline lived and grew inside me. I’m the one that birthed her. I’m the one that she calls mom. I’m the one that she will always call mom, way past the daycare and preschool years. Her love for a teacher doesn’t change any of those things.
But as I drove to work that day, I couldn’t help but wonder…am I strange? Should my child’s love for her teacher make me feel worried or insecure? Is this something most parents worry about?
Would it bother you if your child developed a strong connection to a caregiver (to the point that they preferred the caregiver over you at times)?
Hum? Good question. I don’t know. I think everyone is different.
Me? I would definitely be somewhat hurt and very jealous, I think. While I birthed her and raise her, I think the bond being made with someone else would be disconcerting. At the same time, I would feel good and relieved that I found a safe place for my child to be during the day. The fact that she’s getting good care, and it’s a positive loving environment is just a beautiful thing.
See, I would be torn.
I think I went back and forth, but I guess that’s how my feelings would be.
Nope. My little one is the same way. The only thing that bothers me is what a PITA it is to get her in her carseat in the evenings. LOL. I too am really happy that I found a place she is so happy. In fact, we have one teacher babysit for us. But again, there are days where I am almost in tears trying to get her in the car :o)