Refusal

Last week I brought Hazeline in to the pediatrician’s office for her shots.  We had been there in late August due to her being sick and they were able to do the physical part then, but the shots were a no-go due to her illness.  I promised to follow-up and do the shots the following week when she was better, but…well…life got in the way.  Work, weekends away, and the practice’s schedule all got in the way and they didn’t get done.  Until, of course, I started receiving notes in Hazeline’s diaper bag that she wouldn’t be able to go back to daycare if they didn’t have the necessary forms.  And as it turns out, you can’t get the necessary forms without the necessary shots.  So off to the doctor we went.

“Shots only visits” as they’re called, are typically very short.  You’re in and out in approximately 30 minutes as opposed to the 1-2 hours you need to reserve for an actual doctors appointment.  And sure enough, just as my butt hit the waiting room seat, we were being ushered into the back to be seen.  The medical assistant asked why we were there and what shots she was due for.  I gave her all the information and was then asked, “Oh, and will we be doing the Flu Shot today?”.  After thinking about it for a minute, I responded, “No, not today.  I’ll have to schedule another visit for sometime in early October.”

Okay, here was my reasoning.  The last time Hazeline got the flu shot, she got really, really sick.  Scary sick.  One of the doctors we normally see attributed her illness directly to the shot, the other (who we saw a week later for a follow-up) said it was probably just a fluke that she happened to get sick within days of getting the Flu Shot.  Either way, Hazeline was out of daycare for 5-7 days, scattered over a 2 week time period.  At the time of our shots only visit, our daytime babysitter that takes care of the girls when they can’t go to daycare was out of the country.  So if the shot made her sick again, I was out of luck.  And with clients coming in from California and both my bosses in the office, me being absent from work wasn’t an option.  So I decided it was best to postpone the shot.  Besides, flu season just started.

So imagine my surprise when the medical assistant whipped out a form that said “REFUSAL TO VACCINATE” in big, bold letters at the top of it.  I told the medical assistant that there must be some mistake.  After all, I had scheduled this very visit to have my child vaccinated.  She then replied that there was no mistake.  If I declined the Flu Shot, I had to fill out one of the forms.  Period.

I stood there in total disbelief that I was about to fill out a Refusal to Vaccinate form.  Me.  A mom that’s never, ever been against vaccinations.  As I briefly read through the verbiage, I couldn’t believe what I was signing.  Essentially, it stated that I had been fully informed of the benefits of vaccinating and yet I was deciding against the medical advice that I had been given (P.S. – I was never actually given any medical advice during this visit, before or after I filled out the form).  It then went through a huge list of awful things that could happen to my child because I was making the decision to refuse vaccinations.  In the last two or three sentences of the form it begged me to reconsider my choice.  I was (potentially) harming my child.  Really?

Grudgingly, I signed the form.  I needed her school forms.  I had allotted 30 minutes for this visit and couldn’t be late to work.  Especially not to argue over whether postponing the Flu Shot was the same as refusing to vaccinate my child.  Because to me, they are very different.  To the medical assistant?  Not so much.  We went into the exam room and Hazeline had her shots (took them like a champ, I might add), then I got her dressed and we left, but I just couldn’t shake fact that I had to sign the refusal form.

Looking back, I wish I hadn’t signed it.  There are times when I take the path of least resistance because it is just that – the path of least resistance.  It’s easy.  Signing it got the shots done sooner, us out of their faster, and me to work (almost) on time.  But now I wish that I had refused to sign.  I wish I would have asked to speak to a doctor about delaying the Flu Shot.  Explaining the situation, hoping that they would understand.  But I didn’t.  And now that form will forever stay in her file.  I didn’t need documentation or exemption of the Flu Shot for school.  They recommend it, but don’t require it.  The only one that wanted the refusal form signed was the doctors office.

I really don’t want to get into the pros and cons of vaccinating.  I’ve done my research.  I feel that vaccinating is the way to go.  Lots of parents make the decision to go on a delayed vaccination schedule or not to vaccinate at all.  And that’s their choice.  I may have opinions on it, but it’s their child.  And if one of the moms that refused vaccinations altogether was asked to fill out that form, okay, I understand that.  I’m an attorney, I get it.  It’s about covering yourself.  But for the Flu Shot?  I always thought the Flu Shot was optional.  When did it become mandatory?  Better still, it’s the very beginning of flu season, why do I have to fill out a refusal form now?  Maybe if we were midway through and I showed no signs of getting one for her, but now?  There’s still plenty of time.

Right now it’s up in the air as to whether we’ll go back for Hazeline’s Flu Shot.  I mean I went through with signing the form.  And all the judgy words that it contained.  The shot that our practice uses is a live vaccine.  As the doctor explained it to me, the virus cannot replicate, but it is live.  And Hazeline really had a bad reaction the last time.  And although the doctors don’t agree as to what caused it, I feel it was the shot.  All her symptoms were consistent with the potential side effects.  Greenleigh will be getting her Flu Shot, that I know for sure.  She doesn’t have a reaction to the shot, so there’s no reason to avoid it.  But Hazeline?  I’m just not sure.  And yet, these are my choices.  As a mom, I get to make them.  And I shouldn’t have to fill out a judgy form when I do make a choice, especially on something that’s supposed to be optional.

Have you ever had a bad reaction to the Flu Shot?  Would you have signed the Refusal to Vaccinate form?