Before I became an attorney, I worked retail at a decent size department store. As employees, we were told in our training to minimize accidents – make sure that spills were addressed right away, keep our departments neat, and if we saw little kids running to “ask” them to stop, for fear that they would get hurt. We were told that this was a liability thing and that if someone fell they could sue the store. Now that I’m an attorney, I know how often that really happens.
When I worked retail I was in my early twenties and not wild about kids, so I tended not to interact with them if I could avoid it, but one night I was the only one in my department. A mom and her 3 kids were in the department with me, and while the mom looked through the huge stacks of jeans, the kids started to run. It was a long time ago, but if I had to guess the kids were all under the age of 7, with the youngest being around 3. Once I saw what was going on, I walked towards the oldest child (who the others were following) and asked if he would please stop running because I didn’t want him to get hurt. I did everything by the book and the kids stopped running. But much to my surprise, the mom then popped up, no longer interested in the jeans, and said, “In the future, you need to talk to me and not my kids.” Um. Okay. I apologized, mainly because that’s what we were told to do if a customer was upset, but the reality was, she wasn’t watching her kids and they posed a danger to themselves and others in the store. I then asked her to tell her kids not to run, but she refused. She eventually left the store, but only after telling me that she was “considering” reporting me. Sure, she could just be one of those people who goes looking for a lawsuit, but she seemed genuinely upset. I couldn’t help but wonder if this was just one of those things that I didn’t understand because I didn’t have kids.
This past weekend, we were at the mall and stopped to have something to eat. Naturally, Greenleigh needed to go to the bathroom just seconds before our food was due to arrive at the table, so we rushed off to the restroom. On the way there, Greenleigh started to skip and got ahead of me. The skipping turned into a run, and despite my attempts to catch up with her and urging her to stop, she didn’t and just about ran right into an employee who was walking towards us. Said employee then asked Greenleigh if she would stop running because she didn’t want her to get hurt. Textbook. Just as I had done about a decade before in that department store. Greenleigh got shy, but eventually nodded and we proceeded to the bathroom.
You know what? I didn’t mind that employee talking to my child one bit. I’m glad that she was there to ask her to stop running because sometimes Greenleigh will listen to others when she won’t listen to me. I was happy someone was looking out for her safety, even if there was an ulterior motive of keeping the restaurant free of lawsuits. She didn’t scold or chastise her. She was kind and to the point. Once the message was conveyed we were on our way.
You know the phrase, “It takes a village.”? That’s exactly how I feel. As a mom, sometimes I need a little help. I don’t want someone I don’t know disciplining my child, but kindly asking them to stop bad or dangerous behavior? I’m perfectly okay with that.
What do you think? Was I wrong to address the kids directly? Do you mind if employees address your kids directly?
For me it All depends on the tone. Sometimes kids just don’t/won’t listen to mom or dad, I often think they have a off button for our voices. But someone who is working at a store/restaurant they will listen to, and start to behave.
I feel as long as the tone is not rude or demeaning, but calm and caring then its fine. I have no problem with it.
I have also worked retail before and have had to tell my fair share of kids to stop running/climbing in the windows. I have gotten very mixed reactions from parents. They range from parents saying thank you for talking to their children to having corporate called on me. Every time I said the same thing with a smile on my face, ” I’m sorry. I’m going to have to ask you to please stop running. We don’t want to see you get hurt.” Its funny, the people who got angry with me for talking to theirs kids were the ones that weren’t watching them in the first place. It was very frustrating when one day we had a little girl running around. she had been asked several times to stop. When we found her mother we explained that her child couldn’t run in the store because of the risk of injury. She ignored us and her child kept on running. The little girl tripped going around a table and bust open her head. the mother was furious with us saying that our fixtures weren’t safe. I had to fill out the incident report and had everyone who talked to the mother and child give their account. Because she refused to watch her child, her daughter was injured, we had to pay her medical bill, and merchandise was ruined from the blood. Now i’m the mother of a 10 month old and know the day will come when someone will say this to my child. I wouldn’t be upset with the sales person at all. in fact I would probably ask my daughter to apologize to them.
I agree with Tamara – it all depends on the tone. I also agree that it does take a village and I have to admit as a shopper, I’ve asked other kids to stop running around a store while I was there. Not only is it dangerous, but when the parent has a blatant disregard for their kids’ behavior, it’s up to someone else to set them straight. Having said that, I will let Tyler wander around the clothing racks (because what kid doesn’t like to hide in the middle of the rack!), but if he becomes disruptive (i.e. running through the store), I stop the behavior.
We are kindreds. I am one of those (annoying to some) people who talks to nearly everyone I encounter. I can’t help myself sometimes. Anyway, the same goes for children. I will talk to children who are running (in as engaging a way as possible.) I am good at deflecting what might be seen as “negative”.
I am visiting from the Make My Morning Monday. I hope to get to know you better!
I agree with Tamara it’s all about the tone. But I have also witnessed parents who don’t care about their kid’s behavior and will become very confrontational if you bring it to their attention. That behavior is so upsetting, I feel so terrible for the children who are growing up to think this is acceptable.
If you can’t stop your kids, then someone needs to. Just sayin’ I say that as a mom who well remembers that, as you said, sometimes kids listen to someone else better. 🙂 I mean, really, with the way things are going in North America with lawsuits, some people seem to expect everyone else to be watching their kids anyway.
I totally get what you’re saying and have thought for a long time that part of what’s missing in today’s culture that really worked in the past was the community of supervision and support. Somehow, many moms today think they really shouldn’t let others address their kids. This attitude probably contributes to the entitled attitude I see in many kids today.. New follwer from yesterday’s blog hop. Come by and say hi at http://drmomsie.com