A Sense of Urgency

“Mommy, I got go pee.”*

These are the words I dread.  I dread them when I’ve worked hard to put a piping hot dinner on the table at night and they’re said just as I’m about to sit down.  I dread them in the grocery store when I have a cart full of food and I’m second in the checkout line.  I dread them when we’re eating in the food court at the mall and Erajh steps away to get something for himself to eat.  Because what am I going to do with all of our food, 2 kids, and a stroller if she suddenly needs to go to the bathroom?  Oh, and we waited for that table for 10 minutes.  I especially dread them in the car, when we’re on a highway nowhere near an exit.  At that point, there are no options.

When Greenleigh says these words, it means that I’m on the clock.  It’s an urgent situation.  I have a finite amount of time to get her to a bathroom or, well, it’s not going to be pretty.  Greenleigh’s nearly 100% potty-trained, but if she’s having fun, she forgets.  When she finally remembers, it’s almost too late.  And Greenleigh will do anything to avoid an accident.  She’ll hold it in until it hurts and she’s crying.  I can even put a pull-up on her and she won’t use it.  She holds out for the bathroom.  A true testament to her potty-training dedication, but a problem for me.  And as easy-going as I am about her accidents, she won’t let herself live them down, and will talk about them weeks or even months after they happen.  Sure, I’ve tried to be proactive and bring her to the bathroom every hour or so, but the problem is, Greenleigh won’t go unless she feels the need to go.  If we are out and I try to take her “just in case”, it ends up being her screeching and flailing while I hold her over the toilet, with at least a dozen calls to child protective services being placed outside the stall, because it sounds like I’m abusing her.  Fun times.

For Greenleigh’s birthday in April, I took her to the park to ride the ponies.  Unfortunately, there had been a ton of rain and the stables were flooded so we had to settle for the miniature trains.  We had a great time riding the trains until I heard the dreaded words.  “Mommy, I got go pee.”  It was at that point that I realized I had no idea where the nearest bathrooms were.  I looked on in horror as the woman at the ticket booth pointed to a building that I would need to drive to.  Oh.  My.  God.  We were never going to make it.  It was also around that point that my car keys went missing.  They had inadvertently been thrown into the back pocket on the stroller, but I didn’t know it at the time.  As I sat there, tearing my diaper bag to pieces, an older gentleman nearby said, “Take your time, you’ll find them.”  To which I responded, “I really would, but I have a 3 year old that’s about to pee herself.”  It wasn’t said with any sarcasm or meant to be mean, it’s just the truth.  It’s also the number one way to make a man uncomfortable to the point where he will never speak to you again.

Fast forward to 2 weeks ago when Erajh and I were at one of those huge furniture warehouses on our never-ending search for a dining room set (or as I like to call it, “the table that may never happen”).  We had only been there for a few minutes when I heard the words – “Mommy, I got go pee.”  I immediately grabbed Greenleigh by the hand and started down an aisle, frantically looking for the nearest restroom, as if my head were on a swivel.  The alarmed look on my face caught the attention of a nearby female associate who saw me dragging Greenleigh by the arm.  Without any inquiry she said, “The bathrooms over there, past customer service.  I think there’s someone in the women’s room, but use the men’s it’s the exact same and a single stall!  Hurry!”.  Then, when I started to go the wrong way, she actually started to hurry down a parallel walkway and pointed us in the right direction.  The sense of urgency in her voice was almost exact same sense of urgency that I was feeling.  I had to make it to that bathroom in time.  And she understood that.

How did she know?  Turns out that she has a daughter, age 3.  Potty-trained, but still has accidents.  After the bathroom situation was solved, we chatted about how much fun potty training is and that “look” of a mom that’s just heard the magic words and must get to a bathroom ASAP.  It’s almost “Mom Code” to help each other out in these situations.  Given her assistance, I almost felt bad that we didn’t find a dining room set; I would have loved to give her the commission.

I’m guessing the elderly man at the trains didn’t have kids or his kids were old enough so that he has forgotten the potty-training phase.  Lucky him.

*Please note that it isn’t a typo.  For some reason she skips the “to” in “got to go”.  And oh how I wish she would stop saying the exact bodily function that she needs to perform.  Because that’s tons of fun in shops and quiet restaurants.