On Saturday morning, we were so busy walking for the animals, that I wasn’t even thinking about my phone. By the time we arrived home, got all of our stuff out of the car, and put the girls down for naps, it was around 1:30pm. At that point, I picked up my phone to see what I had missed – a few texts, 3 calls, and a voicemail. Boy, did I feel popular. I started to scroll through and then I saw it, the reason I was so popular, a text message from our babysitter who was supposed to watch the girls that night, “I’m feeling a little under the weather today. I won’t be able to make it tonight. My apologies!”.
Did you hear that? That was my heart shattering into a million pieces.
Erajh and I don’t go out on many date nights. He might go out or I might go out, but for the most part, one of us is always home to watch the baby monitors at night. And for the most part, I’m okay with that. I like putting my kids to bed and being there if they have a bad dream, but there are those rare occasions where we decide to go out for a date night, just to be us. Those nights are very rare, so they are very special. I look forward to them. I plan for them. And there it was…gone. Taken from me.
That particular night we were actually supposed to go out to dinner with two other couples, and the very next text message in my queue was from one of the other couples letting me know that their sitter had cancelled. Seriously? How does that happen? I immediately called my friend and we chatted about how it must be a conspiracy. We laughed and promised to get together sometime soon, but when I hung up the phone I was still upset.
I know, I know, I eat 5 meals per week at work where I am completely uninterrupted by kids trying to climb on my lap, grab my food, and demanding sippy cup refills the very second I sit down to eat my own dinner. And, truth be told, Erajh and I do get the occasional afternoon where I get away from work early due to an afternoon appointment, but it isn’t the same as a date night. Every now and again, I want to dress up, go to a restaurant that isn’t kid friendly, and enjoy my own dinner. It’s like visiting a little piece of my life, pre-April 2009.
I was rapidly going through the stages of grief. I kept thinking that maybe the sitter would feel better. She said she felt “a little under the weather”, how bad could that be? God knows, I’ve worked when I’m way worse than “a little under the weather” and it all worked out fine (except for everyone I infected in my office, not so much for them). Maybe she’ll feel better later in the day. But her text seemed pretty clear that she wasn’t coming. It was at that point, I started to feel angry. “How could she do this to me?”, I thought. We reserved her way in advance and our evening out was now approximately 6-7 hours away and she cancels? Not okay. She’s probably not even sick. But Erajh was quick to point out, that in the year that we have been using her, she’s never cancelled, been sick, or even been late. She’s been incredibly reliable and helpful. Then I felt terrible for doubting her. I finally accepted the fact that she was really sick, she wasn’t coming that night, and decided that I had to do something.
And so it began, the crazy quest to find another babysitter with less than 6 hours notice – on a Saturday night. We don’t know a ton of babysitters, so our list was short. I started by calling a friend who happily agreed to watch the girls, but had some other commitments that afternoon. I promised to keep her on the list as a back up. Next on the list was YaYa, Greenleigh’s former teacher when she was in the 1 year old room. I swear, that woman only hears me in two different states – desperate and more desperate. Desperate that my child can’t go to school. Desperate that my child needs to be picked up from school. And now, desperate that my date night was about to be destroyed. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, God bless that woman because she was able to come through for us yet again.
I love being a mom. I love the joy that parenthood has given me. I hate that my ability to leave the house with my husband hinges on another person…the babysitter.
And wouldn’t you know it, the second YaYa actually stepped through the door at our house 6 hours later, separation anxiety kicked in for both kids. That will show me for blogging about it.
Oh dear!! The worst, the worst I totally feel your pain. Here’s something funny…I made a little less than a million dollars as a babysitter, with people lined up every night for my services. And I was AWESOME. I worked so hard to be the best babysitter I could possibly be. Yet now as a parent absolutely desperate for my sitter’s services, I find myself trying to be the perfect specimen of a sitter-employer….so scared that I may lose her devotion. I race to get home early, I try to leave the best food, I pay too much. And unless she has dangled my son from a ledge, I lavish her with praise for a job well done. Aaaagh! I am at her total mercy and would do anything not to lose my precious sitter. 🙂
I know what you mean! I didn’t babysit much when I was younger, but fall all over myself trying to impress a sitter when they come to our house. I pay them ridiculous amounts of money, welcome them to anything in my fridge (and sometimes will even stock things that they like), and thank them profusely as long as everyone is alive when I get home.
You have our number. We love watching the girls.
Awww…Thanks. Love you guys.
I can totally relate. Last summer my husband got tickets from his work at a table at the Reds baseball hall of fame induction dinner. I went and spent a ‘ton’ on a cocktail dress, shoes, clutch, etc because this was the night of nights and we rarely ever went out. (Date is usually dinner and errands, just minus kids, very exciting…)
4 hours before we were supposed to leave our sitter cancelled saying she might have strep throat. Seriously!?? We tried and tried and tried but couldn’t find a sitter to replace her. We were very bad parents and called her and begged and begged if she could just do this one thing if she felt she could. It wasn’t like it was a normal night out, this was a thousand dollar a plate dinner we were attending.
She did come and babysit. I did in fact sit next to 1st baseman Joey Votto at dinner (and have the pic to prove it).
She did however never babysit for us again. She suddenly was never available when we needed her….oh well!
Yes, I totally know where you’re coming from! I considered calling and begging…more than once. But for us, it wasn’t a once in a lifetime event, like in your case (what an awesome experience, BTW). It was just that I needed to get out of the house with just my husband.
I don’t think that this babysitter is going to sit for us again. Although I would definitely consider calling her, I saw her on Monday at Greenleigh’s daycare (she was visibly/audibly sick too) and she was distant and cold. I’m pretty sure that it was because instead of being concerned about her health in responding to the text message, I just responded “ok”, so she would know that I got it. I was just upset and angry at the time I responded, next time I will wait until I hit the “acceptance” part to text back. Lesson learned.
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I can totally understand how you felt. I find it so hard to make plans because it hurts when they fall through. We had such a responsible and wonderful sitter. We had her for 5 years and when she went to college I just balled. We are now trying new sitters and no one seems to mount up to her.
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Sad to hear your story. It is very disappointing when someone breaks the trust. But do not forget that there are many people who like being babysitter by naturally (service-oriented people).