Let Them Eat Cake

Smash cake at Greenleigh's 1st Birthday, April 2010

It’s that time of year – Time to start planning Hazeline’s first birthday party!  She’s going to be ten months old in just a few days, which means I don’t have much time.  How did time get away from me (again)?  Two months sounds like plenty of time, but currently I have nothing planned.  I need to find a location, choose a theme, find invitations, get them printed, send them out, select a cake…the list goes on and on.  So much to do, so little time.  And Greenleigh’s birthday is less than 30 days after Hazeline’s, so there are 2 parties in our near future.  Oh yeah, and I haven’t done any planning for Greenleigh’s party either.

First things, first.  Since Hazeline’s birthday falls first on the calendar I decided to start brainstorming for her party over the weekend.  Maybe we’ll have it at a park?  But what if it rains?  It’s South Florida after all.  Do I get a bounce house for the older kids to enjoy?  Speaking of, what theme are we going for?  I roughly put together an entire farm animal theme (complete with petting zoo), only to take it apart again to explore a more unconventional theme.  Greenleigh’s first birthday was completely custom theme, and although it was tough to get the invitations and decor, I loved that she had an “original” pink and purple dinosaur birthday party.  Better yet, Hazeline’s only going to be one year, does there need to be a theme at all?  Is turning one a theme in and of itself?  I went around and around, and ended up settling on nothing.

But it did get thinking about friends who have kids around the same age as our girls.  I started to notice that a few of them had no parties at all.  At first, I thought maybe we just weren’t invited, but in a several instances we were actually told that there would be no party.  One or two decided to forgo the party due to finances and another family decided to use the money for a family trip to Disney World, both of which are totally understandable, but I couldn’t help but notice that a few just skipped the party altogether.

Skip the party?  Why would anyone do such a thing?

I’ll admit, when I was little, my parties were a little over the top.  My mom had a professional plan my parties and they were extreme – character appearances, custom cakes, ginormous props…I specifically remember a dog house going up in our front yard for my Snoopy themed birthday party when I was 3 or 4 years old.

As we got a little older, the parties were toned down a little, but my mom still went out of her way to make our birthday’s special.  We always had breakfast in bed while we opened our presents, got to plan activities during the day if there wasn’t school or brought special treats to school if school was in session, and got our favorite dinner that night with cake.  And we always had a party.  In college, birthday parties stopped, but there was always a celebration.  There was always an attempt to make that day special and different than all the others.

When Greenleigh was born, I got excited about birthday parties once again.  I had a strong desire to outdo my mom’s party planners.  The theme, invitations, and cake for her party were all picked out before she turned 4 months old.  I wish I were kidding.  I’m a bit of a planner, but I’ll admit, I was a little out of control.  God bless my husband for nodding and smiling through it all.

Greenleigh’s first birthday party was done entirely in a pink and purple dinosaur theme, complete with matching invitations and banners, dino shaped chicken nuggets for lunch, a character appearance, and musical entertainment for the kids.  I won’t tell you it was perfect (I forgot juice boxes and water bottles for the kids, novice parent mistake since my child didn’t drink from juice boxes yet), but I really tried to make it a special and amazing day for my child.  I also felt that this day was a day to celebrate my husband and I making it through the sleepless nights, growing pains, and teething that the first year brings.  Our party was a family celebration, and I wanted everyone who had ever met my child there.  At one point Erajh had to talk me down from inviting the pediatrician and daycare teachers, because I was sure they would want to be there.

After that first birthday, Erajh asked if I always planned to go overboard for her parties.  “Of course,” I relied.  Hey, at least I’m honest.  And sure enough, I followed up with another great Elmo extravaganza birthday (complete with after party) for her second birthday.

But not throwing a party at all?  Or only having a cake after a normal day and dinner?  How can that be?  Why not celebrate?  I mean, I don’t judge a parent for not having a party for their child’s birthday, I just don’t understand it.  Unless it’s a religious or financial reason, I don’t understand why you wouldn’t want to go to extremes have a party.  Why not have a few people over to recognize this special day?  Why not distinguish this day from all the others on the calendar in a big way?

How do you celebrate your kids birthdays?  Big party or no party?  And if your answer is no party, why?