This morning as I was asking Greenleigh what she wanted for breakfast, it occured to me that all she ate yesterday were graham crackers, birthday cake, Doritos, 2/3 of a banana, and Gerber Lil’ Crunchies that she stole from her sister. In that order. I mean, I realized that she had eaten those things throughout the day, I just didn’t realize that was the entirety of what she ate that day. Big fat parenting fail on my part. I was determined to make today better.
As we walked into the holiday brunch for my mom’s group, I made an off-hand remark about how bad my toddler’s diet was the day before to someone who was struggling to get her toddler to eat. As I went through the list of things Greenleigh ate the day before, she mumbled something to the effect of, “Well at least the banana was good…” In my effort to sympathize, I became the judged. Okay, so maybe I shouldn’t be highlighting my parenting fails to my mommy group. That was my error. I politely excused myself from the conversation that I had somewhat created to go and say hello to some other moms.
After exchanging greetings with a few others, Greenleigh and I sat down at a table within earshot of the moms we met on our way in. I soon heard one say, “You just can’t make food a battle, or it’s over. If it’s a battle, you will never get them to eat.” So easy to say, but how easy is it to implement? After all, for the first time in a long time, we didn’t fight about food yesterday, but that didn’t go so well. Obviously.
Maybe I should give myself a break, we went to a birthday party yesterday and that is why so much junk food was open and available to her. Typically that isn’t the case. Usually I like to make sure she has healthy options to choose from, but most of the time, she would rather go hungry than eat those healthy options.
Fact is, Greenleigh and I fight over food more often than I would like to admit. During the week, I make her well-balanced meals. I worry about her intake of carbs, protein, fruits, veggies, and so on. I try to make her things that she loves, but after slaving over her well-balanced dinner, Greenleigh wants nothing to do with it. It has gotten so bad, that Erajh has had to help and often he is the only one who can get her to eat. I often throw my hands up in the air and just have to hope that she ate enough at school that day. Frustrating doesn’t even begin to describe it.
I’ve found ways to sneak healthy things into her food (veggie chicken nuggets, for example), but that only works if she will actually eat. I know that she isn’t going to starve herself, but I worry.
Has anyone been through something like this with your kids? So if you have/had young kids, how do you get them to eat? Better yet, how do you get them to eat healthy? How do you make sure that food isn’t a battle? Help a (frustrated) mom out!
I can so relate!! I am having the very same issues with Hayley. It is terrible. SHe is the worst eater and no matter what I do, I can’t get her to eat better. I might have to take her to therapy because I think she has food texture issues. SIGH! I hope things get better
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At the moment I don’t have problems getting my son to eat. He’ll eat anything as long as its not bland. I think it may be because when I began weaning I gave him something different every day to avoid him developing preferences to early. That said I think what you’re doing by finding clever ways to ‘hide’ things your daughter might not like into something she would eat. Also try to make things she doesn’t like into she will. Say smooties with fruit and a hint of veg, french fries make from sweet potato, pies, casseroles, pizzas with veggies ‘disguised’. Perhaps you are doing some of this already, stick with it I hope it sorts itself out soon :0) Don’t be harsh with yourself, forget what the other moms said.
I will tell you what my pediatrician told me when Kayla was little..they will not voluntariarly starve themselves and some days they will survive on a cheerio and apple juice while others they will look like a locust going through this years crops! Stop worrying and just keep doing what you are doing..you can try to make sandwiches a little cooler by using a cookie cutter to cut them into shapes, if she’ll eat spagehetti put veggies in the food processor and blend them into the sauce..theres all kinds of things to do to “hide” the good stuff and make it cool.
You’re right, she won’t starve herself. I just worry when she outright refuses to eat, but will take junk food if she can find it…so I know she’s hungry, she just won’t eat. There isn’t anything I can do about it, so I’m just going to have to sit tight until the phase passes. There are just so few “locust” days, know what I mean? I suppose I just have to take comfort in the fact that until she was about a year old she ate really well and preferred veggies – I guess she got a good base coat…
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I think all parents struggle with some sort of food battle. My best trick when I fostered my niece and nephew was to tell them that if they ate the peas, or the green beans (or whatever unfavorable food it was) they could eat a cookie for dessert. You know a good even trade 😉 Although, that only works if a kid doesn’t want to starve him or herself that evening. Some kids (like you say with your daughter) don’t mind not getting the cookie as long as they don’t have to eat the peas… that’s where I’m stuck…
You would think, one day, women would grow out of judging each other. Yuck.
I don’t have a child yet, but I can say that my little sister put my parents through quite the battle growing up. She would love one thing, and only want to eat that, for WEEKS… then suddenly, she hated it. And, if you wanted her to eat, you had to sit with her for hours to be sure she was distracted by you, the tv… anything… because she was a painstakingly slow eater.
The good news? She grew out of it. As you said, her instincts won’t let her hurt herself.
As a Mom, I can relate to the comments posted so far. My daughter is now 17 and I STILL have to sneak healthy items into her food! I used the color tactic to get her to eat salmon when she was 3. Me: Look, Mommy made food in your favorite color (pink). My daughter also would eat like there was no tomorrow and then take a week off. The first time this happened, I panicked and called the pediatrician. I also called the pediatrician when I thought she had a tapeworm because she ate so much and weighed so little I couldn’t imagine where the food went!
As The Kitchen Counselor, I have a few thoughts.
There are whole books about “sneaking” healthy ingredients into toddler food.
Sometimes inviting a child to cook/prepare/assemble food will cause them to invest in eating it.
Shapes are a great idea. Having Greenleigh use cookie cutters or even color her food (try to use natural coloring) may spark interest.
Toddlers like to manipulate food, separate food on a plate etc… see what Greenleigh tends to prefer.
FInd fun placemats, plates, cups, silverware to put the fun in mealtime.
From pediatricians, I’ve learned that you can aggregate a child’s food intake by the day or week instead of a single meal. If they balance within that time period, no worries.
If you would like to brainstorm further, let me know!
One day, all my daughter ate all day was regular chicken nuggets and veggie chicken nuggets with ketchup. Other moms may judge but we’re all just doing our best. They either do not realize, do not want to admit, or lie about it but their kids have unhealthy eating days too! Either that or they are perfect moms and their children are perfect eaters. All we can do is keep trying and don’t stress when they don’t eat all healthy that day. My best trick is smoothies. You can put vitamin powder/liquid, veggies, fruit, and yogurt in there and make it a complete meal that they think is a delicious desert. =)
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