Last weekend Erajh and I had a wedding to attend. The night before the wedding I grabbed the invitation to see exactly where we had to go the next day. As I glanced over the invite everything was as I remembered it – church wedding, restaurant reception, black tie requested, etc. The times were even as I remembered them. The part that I seemed to have forgotten was the small print at the bottom which read, “Adults Only”. I giggled to myself. As if the fact that the reception started 7:30pm and the words “Black Tie Requested” weren’t enough to tell me that my infant and toddler probably weren’t on the guest list. Lets talk about the places I would rather not be with my infant and toddler at 7:30 at night – a black tie reception tops that list. Not to mention, the invitation was made out to Erajh and I only. It never even crossed my mind to bring my children to the wedding.
Of course, I don’t blame the bride for wanting a child free wedding. As I looked around the reception that night, which was absolutely beautiful by the way, I couldn’t help but think about all the things my kids would have been doing if they had been invited – climbing the ornate centerpieces, running out in front of the servers passing hor d’ vours, and eating the flowers that appeared to be everywhere… Needless to say their full Catholic mass ceremony would have been a bit louder, filled with Hazelines velociraptor-like screeches. Well that’s what they would have been doing if I wasn’t running all over the place trying to stop and quiet them.
While I normally like to be the one to put my kids to bed at night, this was one of those nights where I sat out and let someone else do the honors.
At the Child-Free Reception
But naturally, the word “Adults Only” didn’t just appear only on my invitation; they went out on every invitation. So perhaps there was someone they thought might think their little ones were invited? Who is this crazy person who thinks it would be fun to bring small kids to a black tie event that starts at 7:30pm? Even my kids were a little older, I don’t know that this would have been a fun or interesting event for them.
Five years ago, I was a bride planning our wedding. Fairly early on, we decided to make our ceremony and reception child friendly. We knew that meant our ceremony might be a little louder and mishaps can happen when kids are involved, but we felt that getting married was a blending of two families, and kids are a part of those two families. For us, it was important for everyone to be there. In the end, some parents brought their kids and others didn’t. We clearly addressed every invitation to the entire family, and left it up to the parents whether they wanted to bring their kids. I think this was the right choice for us.
If you planned a wedding was it child friendly or “adults only”? What made you decide one way or the other?
Our wedding was definitely a child friendly wedding. Half of the invites were kids! In just nieces and nephews alone, I have 15 and my husband has 7! It didn’t even cross my mind to have a childless wedding. It just didn’t make sense for us. Our wedding was outdoors at a park and it was just perfect. A simple wedding at a park is a great place for kids to enjoy it and run wild and free while all the adults do adult stuff. Plus the kids were the main ones on the dance floor! It was great and I don’t regret a thing! 🙂
Ours was kid friendly. Some of the best memories are the little ones boogy-ing on the dance floor and my dad’s friends little girl (about 8 at the time) being so excited to meet me because she thought I was a real live princess! However, I never mind when I get an adults only night out! 🙂
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Definitely kid-friendly! I can’t imagine having a wedding without having the children in my life there. Of course, we were the biggest kids of all. We had a DISNEY wedding!
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I think a wedding is more fun with little kids, especially when they also grace the dance floor. How sweet!
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My wedding I had kids but my husbands cousins who were in my wedding didn’t allow children, their nieces or nephews were in attendance also a cousin who lives in Fla was able to bring her kids. My husband and I took this personally and we didn’t attend another cousins wedding a few weeks ago.
Personally I think kids in the family should be at weddings.
I’ve never heard of a child free wedding. I can understand why someone would want that… but if I had children, I think I would be offended.
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We are planning our wedding now and my sister recommended adults only. The problem is that we have been together for 9 years and have two small girls. I would feel silly not having other children while my own run around. Our event is during the day though. Hmm…
i’ve always cringed when i got an “adult only” invitation to a wedding or certain other events. i have one kid & we’ve always lived in a city with no family or babysitters available. my kid’s got some special needs which make it hard for her to be left with the average babysitter, but she’s super easy and polite around adults. if she can’t go, i can’t go most of the time. makes me sad to have to miss things that i would love to be a part of if my girlie was at my side.
We made our ceremony ‘Child friendly’ as I was not only marrying my Husband, but his son from another relationship as well, … though we had our reception at an adult-only restaurant & Lounge.
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We invited kids to the ceremony, but not to the reception (except for young babies). The reason was the size of my husband’s extended family. if we invited all of his first, second and third cousins’ kids as well, we would not have been able to find a venue big enough. If we already had kids or we had nieces and nephews, we would have invited them to the reception, but I don’t think we should have been expected to invite cousins and friends’ kids as well.
I think parents should respect the couple’s choice not to have kids at the reception. It doesn’t mean they are child-haters. It’s just nice to have some adult conversations. My cousin’s wedding reception was practically a hiug creche. There was hardly anyone in the room listening to the speeches because most people were outside trying to entertain the kids.
My daughter had an adult only wedding last year. But it was a destination wedding, so it did cause some hurt feelings with family members who had not place to leave their children. Some chose not to attend and some even brought their children anyway. I felt child care should have been provided, but the couple was 30 years old and not into Mother’s advice. That would have cost money and taken away from money spent directly on the wedding and reception.
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