The Toddler Tax

The one thing I’m slowly getting used to as the parent of a toddler is the “toddler tax” I must pay when we shop.  The toddler tax is the cost of the items that they put right at a toddlers level that are just too tempting for them not to pick up.  Trying to take the item from them will only yield a tantrum of epic proportion, so you let them carry it around the store.  It keeps them busy and allows you to get your shopping done.  By the time you checkout, they are so attached to the item that there is no turning back.  You can only hope they haven’t picked up a $50 item, because that item needs to go home with them (quite possibly never to be played with again).

For example, the other day we needed to make 3 stops – the craft store, the grocery store, and Target.  First stop was the craft store where Greenleigh promptly fell in love with 5 spools of ribbon, a package of quilt batting, and some silly bands.  I allowed her to carry all the items around the store with her, since it kept her hands full and stopped her from collecting additional items.  When we got to the register, Greenleigh proudly put all of her “purchases” on the counter and I told the lady behind the counter that we only wanted the silly bands.  They were knock off silly bands on sale for $1, and therefore, the perfect purchase for us.  Plus, she wears silly bands, so they might actually be used again.  I then asked if she would put them in a separate bag for Greenleigh to carry out of the store.  Understandably not happy about the fact that we had brought 7 items to the register only to purchase 1, the cashier looked annoyed but complied and we left the store tantrum free.

The next stop was the grocery store where I was determined to beat the toddler tax.  I thought I could outsmart her, and I was so very, very wrong.  We were picking up ingredients for one of my baking projects and I made a huge deal about her important role in the recipe.  I constantly handed her items and we discussed each ingredient.  I kept her as busy as possible.  We made it to the checkout line and I thought I had won.  Just as the cashier gives me the total I realize that there was a small package of vanilla cookies for $0.99 going into one of the grocery bags.  How did she do that?  Turns out they were right next to the register.  I never saw them, but she sure did.  Why do store designers hate me?  Why can’t she at least pick up something that my husband or I will eat?  The toddler tax won that one that round too, but at least the cookies kept Greenleigh happy on our way to the last stop.

Finally, we had to make a quick run into Target for some Halloween items.  Damn that dollar section at the front of the store.  No escaping it.  Two feet in the door and I had already lost the battle against the toddler tax.  At least there I know I can get away with only paying a dollar or two.  And we bought a book, so that makes me feel a little better.  We always need an extra book or two.

I know, I know, I’m setting a bad precedent by buying her little things here and there.  Needless to say, I don’t always buy her the item, but $1 per store to stay tantrum free?  I’ll take it.