When Greenleigh was between 12-24 months old her favorite thing to do in the whole world was to throw her food off her highchair tray onto the floor. Needless to say, it was my least favorite thing in the entire world. Day after day for almost a full year, I would clean the floor after she ate. On the weekends, that meant at least three times per day. Sweeping, swiffering, using those disinfecting wipes…it was such a pain. And there didn’t seem to be anyway to stop her from throwing food to begin with. She just didn’t get it. Until one day, I when I was just too tired to clean up again. She was somewhere around 2, and I had just had enough. It was her turn.
At first Greenleigh wanted nothing to do with this whole “clean up after yourself” nonsense, but after 2 time outs and a bit of a stand-off she picked up all the food on the ground. And then she did it the next night. And then the funniest thing happened – the amount of food hitting the floor decreased. Significantly. She got it. She understood that if she threw it, she would have to pick it up. Clearly, I had underestimated her. All those months when I was cleaning her mess off the floor, she could have been doing it. I felt duped.
But last week when my husband called me to say that Greenleigh and Hazeline should have chores, I laughed. He had just had lunch with a few of our friends, one of which is a good friend and fellow blogger at Baylor Says. In the course of their lunch conversation she mentioned several sites where they recommended kids as young as 2 years old have daily chores. Hmmm. Really? I mean, my kids have to clean up after themselves (or at least make an attempt), but even that’s hard. In fact, it can be so difficult that we hide the legos in our house – they don’t like to clean them up, and neither do I. But their lunch conversation was specifically about chores that kids are supposed to do every single day. My kids don’t have those.
I then turned to the internet to see if I was really behind on this one, and wouldn’t you know, I am. There are even adorable chore sticker charts to get kids motivated. Printable and easy to follow, but really? Kids 2-3 years old having chores? It seems a bit extreme.
Source: www.dandee-designs.com
According to all kinds of websites, there are chores that toddlers can and should be doing on a weekly/daily basis. Suggested chores range from the obvious “put toys away”, to the crazy “feed the family pet”. Okay, if Greenleigh was responsible for feeding the family pets, they would surely starve. Hell, even if she were only responsible for carrying the scoop of food from one side of the room to the other, there’s a good chance she’d get distracted and they’d still starve. Then the food would end up all over the floor and we would end up in a timeout instigated stand-off as to who was going to pick up the food that was dropped.
Don’t get me wrong, there were great suggestions on some of the lists I found – asking toddlers to help with light grocery bags, making their bed, and separating laundry. These are some of the things that Greenleigh already does in our house, just not on a consistent basis. But there is no way that I’m ever going to let Greenleigh wipe down my toilets, empty trash cans, or unload the clothes dryer/dishwasher. Those spell disaster. And I if I do use the adorable chart in the picture above, I’m taking away the shirt, which I’m pretty sure stands for dressing themselves, because Greenleigh regularly comes home from daycare with her shoes on the wrong feet and both legs down one leg of her skorts. She clearly needs my help on the “dressing herself” front…and it’s a little embarrassing to go out with her when she won’t let me help.
Then I started to question myself – Am I underestimating them? Am I choosing the easy way out in avoiding toddler chores because they would end up being more work for me? Provided I could find the time to put together and follow one of those adorable sticker charts, would my girls be able to do it? I’m thinking this might become a blog experiment of some sort.
So tell me, do your toddlers have chores? What are they? And at what age did you start to give them chores?
I don’t agree with “chores” exactly at that young of an age. I do believe in learning to clean up after yourself and developing independence, and I think that can start as soon as the child understands it. With my daughter, she was expected to help clean up her toys, wipe the floor with me if she spilled something, etc. starting about 1 or so. Toddlers love to help out with nearly everything, but they do it on their schedule. We constantly encouraged this behavior and tried to always find ways to include her IF she wanted– because of all the encouragement and praise, though, 9 times out of 10 she wanted a way to help. Around 3 or so, we began talking about how we are a family and a team, so we all work together. When this started clicking, we began expecting her to pick up her own plate after dinner, put most of her toys away by herself, and things like that. We also gave her a few special jobs like wiping down the table after dinner or helping to go get the mail. We’ve never and will never call them chores. They are jobs we each have because we’re a family and a team and we work together. There are things we expect her to do now, at 4, because she is old enough, but we feel she should have a sense of accomplishment at contributing to the family rather than earning stickers and rewards.
To each their own I suppose, but this works for us 🙂
You know, I always try to respond to these posts and I can only seem to comment half the time… LOL
First, thank you for being such a committed blogger. I so enjoy your posts. 🙂
I dunno if we actually have him do chores, but we have always tried to get him to do everything for himself. He tries and, if he fails miserably, I take over. If he makes a mess of it but succeeds, it becomes his responsibility. I hope he never catches on to this approach. 🙂 LOL
He dresses himself halfway, gets his own cup of water, unloads the dryer (one of his favorites), matches socks for laundry, tries to fold, cleans up his toys, cleans up everything he spills/throws, helps with dishes (if I have the patience), helps to train the dog and, lately, has tried buckling himself into his carseat. 🙂 Most of these things he does because he insists, “I do it, Mommy! I do it!” and he is offended if I do it for him. Right now, I don’t think he feels obliged (the way I feel about chores), I think he feels excited about his capability and independence. Either way, I’m proud as a peacock. 🙂
Oh yeah… He also changes wet bedsheets, waters plants, puts dishes on the counter/sink and rakes the yard. 🙂 LOL It sounds like I should be haranged for child labor! LOL
We do underestimate our wee ones ability to chores. They can’t do them like us, naturally, but isn’t ia about learning? Yep! The important thing is to involve your kiddoes around the house – put away silverwear, fold hand towels and wash clothes, match socks by color or size, pick up toys, let them dust when you’re dusting, put own clean laundry awaay or at least carry it to their room,…They’ll feel like they are big boys & girls because Mommy gave them a job. =D Thanks for linking up with us at Wayback Wednesdays!
I have a 3 year old who loves to help. Anything from stirring batter to swiffer dusting, she begs to help. So I let her. With a little instruction she’s a pro. She doesn’t have chores per say but she regularly and activley participates in, putting the silverware away, feeding the dogs, dusting the house (at a 3′ level : ) ), picking up her toys, cleaning (lysol wipe) her high chair tray, putting her dishes in the sink, ect. Little things that add up to a lot of mommy work otherwise. It’s been huge. Just taking the time (finding it’s hard-it’s always quicker to do it yourself) to teach them how to do things is a win for you both on multiple levels.
Check me out if you’re interested: http://misadventuresofmommy.blogspot.com
-Jessica