Posts titled “What Not to Say to a Pregnant Woman” are scattered far and wide all over the internet, so for this post, I decided to take a different approach. Skip the mommy advice, avoid horror stories from labor & delivery, and don’t compare me to anything large, these are the 10 things I actually want people to say to me. Oh, and just to be clear – I’m totally okay if you lie to me. I encourage it actually.
“I was sick during my first trimester pregnancy, too.” Why is it that every woman who has ever been pregnant wants to share how she never had a minute of morning sickness and yet, I’ve never been able to escape it (and even ended up with hyperemesis gravidarum this time around which I’m still taking medication for)? Seriously, people will hear that I’m pregnant and not feeling so good, then walk all the way across the room to tell me that they never had any such thing. Or they’ll tell me that morning sickness is a myth. Or that it doesn’t last all day. Just commiserate with me, okay?
Your hair is so shiny! Why yes, yes it is! It’s a perk to pregnancy, and I love when people notice because we all know that extra thick, shiny hair is going right down the drain after this baby is born. Literally.
“You’re how far along? You look so tiny!” Okay, here’s the thing – I’m going to look pregnant…because I am pregnant. But you don’t need to compare my body shape to a truck, house, or livestock of any kind. I get it. I feel it. Just tell me I’m small and I’ll appreciate it. I’ll know you’re lying, but I’ll appreciate it.
“Delivery of my 3rd child was a breeze.” No need for horrifying stories of labor and delivery this time around – been there, done that. Given that Hazeline came out in less than 3 pushes (a welcome surprise considering Greenleigh’s required 2 1/2 hours of pushing and additional nursing staff), I’m hopeful this time. But I always love to hear about easy labor stories – especially about 3rd children!
“Your outfit is gorgeous. It looks like that dress/sweater/skirt/top Kate Middleton wore that one time.” Maternity fashion has come so far and yet it’s still so easy to get to the point where you just give up due to money, lack of options, or the fact that you no longer want to leave the house. I actually got this comment when I was in Chicago for BlogHer about the dress that I wore to Thursday night’s parties and it totally made my night. Who needs conference swag when you get a compliment like that?
“When are you due? December?” When I was pregnant with Hazeline I was at a court reporters office downtown after a deposition when the owner came out and said, “Wow you are going to pop any minute! You must be due in a week or two, right?”. Yeah, not so much. Actually, I was only 26 weeks pregnant at the time (and only gained 20-25 pounds that whole pregnancy). I politely corrected her, left the office, picked up a double whopper from BK, and nearly cried as I ate it on the way home. True story. Now, I much prefer it when people over estimate my due date. I’m due in October, but commonly mistaken for December…it’s fabulous. If you must take a guess at someone’s due date just by the way they look, tack on an extra month or two just to be safe.
“You’re out so late!” I got this all the time when I was in Chicago. Maybe people were judging me, but honestly, I took it as a compliment. For me to leave my house after 8 pm is a pretty big deal, and it’s nice the people noticed I was actually making an effort.
“My third child is awesome!” Yes, I know – having 3 kids is only going to add to the goat rodeo that is my life. I’m okay with it. But every now and again I get this panicked feeling like, “OMG! Why are we doing this? Seriously, I forgot!”. Surprisingly, hearing about how much everyone seems to love their 3rd child quickly calms this momentary freak out. Also, stories of a seamless transition from having 2 kids to having 3 kids are also welcome.
“The serving size for Twinkies is 2.” Why, oh why, did I somehow end up pregnant during the Twinkie comeback? Seriously, a snack cake that I hadn’t touched in at least a decade now rules my days. I suddenly love them. So when a co-worker not only showed up with a box of the hard to find delicacy, but declared that 2 was the minimum serving, I decided she was my favorite co-worker ever.
“You look great!” If you can’t think of anything nice to say, just say this…even if I’m stuffing a Twinkie into my face while you’re saying it. Feel free to substitute “fabulous”, “stunning”, or “amazing”, if you prefer.
