How I Met Your Father

Ever since her debut as a flower girl, Greenleigh has been throwing around the word “married”.  If you ask her, she’ll tell you that she’s going to get married, much to Erajh’s horror.  But lately she’s even more interested in the fact that Erajh and I are married.  She wants to know who married whom, where, and, more importantly, why.  We try to keep the concepts basic, but every now and again, you can tell that the concept just blows her little mind.  And, while I’m happy to answer all of those questions, I’m a little leery of one that I know is coming, “Mom, how did you and Thathi (the Sri Lankan word for father) meet?”.

That’s a complicated tale.  It’s not a love story…well, not at first.  You see, our story goes something like this –

Kids,

Back in August of 2000, I ventured to Miami for law school.  The city of Miami wasn’t my first choice for school, but after having a bit too much fun in college, my options were limited.  So I sucked it up, got an apartment, and enrolled in the only law school in town that would take me.  I promised that South Florida would be a temporary thing – 3 years for school, 2 years to work and get some experience, and then I was out.  I knew no one.  I had no idea where anything was.  And I wasn’t sure if I could really do this whole law school thing.

At the end of the first week of school there was a happy hour.  What I didn’t know about law school was that there would be tons of these mix, mingle, and drink events.  I wasn’t really planning to go until my roommate announced that she was going.  I decided to tag along…I mean, I had no place else to be.  And sure enough, through the course of the event, I met people.  I actually had a good time.  Such a good time, that when the event was over, we all wanted to continue hanging out.

So we ventured to a nearby restaurant to have dinner following the happy hour.  There were so many of us that we ended up with a super long table, and as luck would have it I landed at the very end of the table.  It was around 8pm and we were still waiting for a few stragglers to arrive, so there were empty seats next to me.  I didn’t think much of it at the time.

Until he walked in.

I had met Erajh earlier that night and wasn’t all that impressed, but by the time he made it to the table he had considerably more to drink.  And because it just so happened that the only open seats at the table were next to me, we got to sit next to each other.  It wasn’t long before we began to throw thinly veiled insults in each other’s direction – his for being so drunk, and mine for being so uppity (well, he used other words, but let’s stick to “uppity” for the purposes of this story).  He then made fast friends with the waiter and ordered, yet, more alcohol.  To top it all off, there was a television positioned in the corner of the restaurant playing a football game that he intermittently cursed at.  It was lovely.  We left that restaurant hating each other’s guts.

I returned home to my apartment that night, and called one of the only friends I had from school (who also knew Erajh), just so I could tell him how obnoxious he was.  My friend said that Erajh really wasn’t all that bad…actually, he thought he was kind of a nice guy.  I let him know that he was very mistaken.  I vowed never to talk to Erajh again.

Until a few weeks later when a friend of mine said that she had secured a ride for us to yet another happy hour.  She said they’d be over around 5pm and I didn’t ask any questions.  Until she and Erajh arrived at my apartment to pick me up.  He was the ride that she secured.  The looks on our faces were of mutual disdain, and I recall her awkwardly trying to revive conversations in the car.  Uncomfortable doesn’t begin to describe it.

When the happy hour was over we all went outside to get in Erajh’s car, only to find that it wasn’t there.  His car had been towed.  Turns out, we didn’t actually park in the restaurant parking lot, but instead, parked in the neighboring Arby’s parking lot.  Arby’s didn’t take too kindly to that.  Although Erajh had only driven 2 of us to the happy hour, he was now acting as a designated driver to many more people.  We all ended up at the tow truck driver’s holding lot where they refused to release the car.  Police were called.  People were threatened.  Law students tried to cite the law after only a few weeks in school.  It was a mess and it took hours to finally get his car released.

[Fun Fact: That neighboring Arby’s still exists and we currently live 5 miles from it, but Erajh will never eat there.  We aren’t even allowed to go to the drive-thru.  I’m pretty sure he’s going to be upset if he ever finds out that our kids ate there even if they are on a field trip or out with a friend or something.  If that Arby’s sponsored their sports team he would make them quit the team.  This is one grudge he will not let go.]

Okay, at that point I felt bad for the guy, but I still didn’t want to be his friend.  Or have anything to do with him.  And although the note that I got in my campus mail folder on Monday thanking me for helping to get his car back was a nice touch, I spent the next few months avoiding him.  Even ignoring him if I had to.

Don’t worry, the feeling was more than mutual.

And then January rolled around.  A fresh new class of spring law students had come into the school, and one of them was having a party at her apartment.  Somehow, and to this day I still have no idea how, Erajh ended up driving me (and a few others) to this party.  I could have walked…in fact, we both could have walked since it was in the apartment complex next to the one we both lived in…I seriously don’t know how that happened.

Anyway, at some point during the party I ended up getting into a pretty heated argument with one of the new law students.  Not sure how that happened either (and no liquor of any kind was involved), all I know is that it was about the Americans with Disabilities Act and being able to leave the classroom to go to the bathroom in the middle of class.  Crazy law school parties, I tell you.  At that point, the new student made a threatening move in my direction and the guy I’d been avoiding all those months stepped in between us and told the new student to go get some air.  The scuffle was broken up and all was well until I accidentally locked myself in the bathroom.  Once again, Erajh happened to be in the right place at the right time.  I might still be in that bathroom if it weren’t for him since the door was apparently made of steel or something…

[Side note: That student that threatened me?  He got so drunk that night that his pants ended up falling down as he was leaving the party and he didn’t even notice.  He also got expelled from school a few months later.]

Weeks passed by and I found myself not avoiding Erajh as much.  We even hung out in group settings every now and again, which was good, because by this point we had quite a few mutual friends and avoiding him was getting tedious.

And then March happened.  In law school, we had one formal event per year.  A day to get all dressed up (and drink).  Sure, they give out awards and stuff, but mainly it’s to get dressed up and drink.  It’s called Barrister’s Ball.  Originally, I wasn’t even considering going.  I didn’t have a date and it didn’t seem like something you went to without one.  But a week before the event, I met a guy that I did like.  Unfortunately, I didn’t really know him and only spoke to him once…it seemed a bit odd to just ask him out of the blue like that.  But Erajh seemed to know him.  So I decided to pry some information out of Erajh.  Did this guy have a girlfriend?  Was he going to Barrister’s Ball?  Yes, apparently, I was in middle school.

Anyway, just as I finished getting all my information from Erajh, a mutual friend approached us (coincidentally, the same friend that I called after our first meeting back in August) to let Erajh know that there was a girl who had plans to ask him to take her to Barrister’s Ball.  All that time that I’d been avoiding Erajh, there was a girl actively pursuing him.  And unfortunately, he did not feel the same way.  Feeling a bit trapped (and knowing that he wouldn’t be able to turn her down), Erajh said he couldn’t possibly go with her because he already had a date – me.

He had no plans of asking me, it just so happened that I was sitting in front of him at the time and we were beginning to tolerate each other.  It could have been anyone, really.  But he knew I didn’t have a date.  He knew I wasn’t going to go alone.  And he really didn’t like the girl that had plans to ask him to go.  I started to protest, but remembered that Erajh, as a member of student government, would be invited to a great pre-party.  I wanted to be at that pre-party.  And there was no guarantee that the other guy would even go with me, especially considering he barely knew me.

And so it was, a date of convenience.  A date where we hung out and had fun.  A date where I decided that I kinda liked this guy I’d been avoiding for months.  A date that I was sad to see end.

And that, kids, was just the beginning…

**This story is from my recollection, if you ask Erajh the facts are somewhat very different.