Earlier this year, I wrote about my resolution to carve out some time for myself. I wrote about how I was feeling overwhelmed and smothered by my obligations as a mom, and as a result how I felt that I had no time to myself. I went on and on about how I was going to get the sitter to come in once a month to watch the girls for a morning so I could get things done. Important things like, getting my hair done so everyone doesn’t have to witness my true (much darker) hair color peeking through my highlights. Or maybe I’d just get the grocery shopping done. Whatever. But I was going to get some time to myself…This would be my year!
Except, you know how many times I’ve called the sitter to actually do that? Not once. That’s right, ZERO.
By the time mid-February rolled around, I was ready to call this resolution a bust.
You see, what I didn’t take into account when I made that resolution was Greenleigh’s dance class, birthday parties, family trips, pre-school registration, and the plethora of other things that happen on the weekends. Things that I want to attend. Things I’d be sad if I missed because I was walking around the mall getting some of that much needed “me” time.
But of course, that doesn’t mean I don’t need time to myself. Because I definitely do. Hell, just typing the words “walking around the mall” made me a little nostalgic for those days before kids when I spent hours walking around the mall looking for nothing in particular, instead of the 60-90 minute scramble to get everything I might need for the foreseeable future…because that’s what trips to the mall are now. Racing against the ever impending meltdown. Trying to get out before the inevitable tantrum. Trying to explain to my kids that shopping can be fun, to no avail.
I was at a total loss as to how to reconcile being there for my kids and getting some time away.
Until my mom’s group posted a Mom’s Night Out to go and see the movie “Identity Thief” back in late February. “That would be fun”, I thought. Since having kids, I miss movies. A lot. And I’m not so secure that they can go and see a movie all by myself. Don’t ask me why, I just can’t do it. So even though I don’t feel that I really fit into to my moms group, I clicked “Yes” on the RSVP. After all, it’s a movie, right? It’s not like I’m going have to talk to anyone. I can sit there in the dark, free from the judgment that I give my kids juice boxes and pre-packaged foods.
And lo and behold it was fabulous. Well, the movie was okay, but the time at the theater was great. It was a diversion from the norm. A diversion I so badly needed, for the sake of my sanity. And that theater was so, so quiet.
A few days after the movie, they posted another Mom’s Night Out for March to go to the Melting Pot. I thought, “Maybe I should go”. That one was going to require having a conversation through dinner, so it was trickier. Not that I don’t like to talk, because I do, I really do, but again juice boxes and pre-packaged foods… I delayed RSVPing until virtually the last possible minute, but ultimately sent in my “yes”. And sure enough, I had a good time. There was a bit of judgment over my grudging approach to potty-training which happened to come up in conversation (because when you’re out with 6-7 other toddler moms, toddler topics are bound to come up), but overall it went pretty well.
Over the past few months these mom’s nights have become a great escape for me. They take some coordinating on my end to make sure that Erajh can take care of the girls, but when they work out, they are exactly what I need. As I settled into the movie theater seat for this months outing to The Great Gatsby and slipped on my 3D glasses just in time to see the Warner Bros logo grace the screen, I could feel was a wave of relaxation come over me. It was exactly what I needed.
So as it turns out, I guess I’m not failing at all. Don’t get me wrong, I still don’t have time to shop (grocery or otherwise) or get my nails done regularly and my roots are very much present, but I am finding time for myself. Just not in the way that I thought I would. In fact, it took a group of virtual strangers to pull me out of the house and make it happen, but it’s happening. And for that, I’m thankful.
How do you find “me” time?
Getting out with other moms is always nice. I’m part of a moms group too and we have a monthly moms night out. It’s certainly great to get out and about and have adult interaction with someone that is not your significant other.