Finding the “Off” Switch

The other night, we ventured out of the house for dinner.  After a few stops, we finally landed at a new pizza place in town.  We sat down at our table and noticed a very large party at the table next to us.  There were at least 2 families dining at the table – 4 parents (2 moms and 2 dads, I’m just not sure if they were married to each other), 8-9 kids (all boys and in the 4-10 age range), and an infant, sitting on one of the father’s laps.  As you can imagine, with that many people eating together, the restaurant had to put several tables together to accommodate the party, and the 4 parents had settled down at one end of the table while all the little boys were huddled at the other end.

After they were done eating, the boys became restless and began to wander around, climb on one another, flick soda bottles with their fingers, and, well, all the other things that little boys do when they are not being supervised and are in a pack of their peers.  Later, half of the boys took up residence under the table, while several others began to literally scale the walls and furniture.  The infant then began to (happily) screech at the top of her little lungs, so that the entire restaurant could hear.  I expected the parents to react to all these occurrences, and yet, they did nothing.  They sat and ate.  They talked.  They laughed.  They didn’t so much as look in the boys’ direction.  They did nothing to quiet the baby, but only continued their conversation.

For a minute – I was jealous.

Please don’t think this is some snarky judgment of these parents – it’s not.  Sure, I wish they had been watching their kids.  Absolutely.  And yes, I was concerned when the boys began flicking empty bottles in our direction.  But at the time I was way more impressed with the fact that the parents could just totally tune their kids out and enjoy their meal.  Nothing that those kids did so much as raised an eyebrow for the parents.  The events going on around them never even hit their radar.  Generally, ignoring your kids is a bad thing, but in this case it really seemed to be working for the parents.  And in the end, nothing “bad” happened – no kids hurt themselves, no bottles hit our table, and the world didn’t stop because the baby was screeching.  But more importantly, the parents looked so relaxed.  It was if they had flipped the parenting switch to “off” so they could enjoy a meal.

I wish I could do that…but I can’t.

Going out to dinner causes all kinds of anxiety for me and it turns me into the ultimate helicopter mom.  I don’t want the kids to be loud.  Or messy.  Or throw things.  Or move around too much.  All I want them to do is sit and eat.  I repeat it over and over and over again like an anthem, “Sit and eat.”  I bring toys and iPads (yes, plural) and snacks, all in hopes that I’ll get to sit and enjoy a meal in peace…but I never do.  Someone gets squirmy.  Someone gets loud.  Greenleigh needs to go to the bathroom – four times.  And the thought of ruining someone else’s meal due to my loud, messy, squirmy, and generally disruptive kids, turns my stomach.  So instead of flipping the parenting switch to “off”, I spend a good portion of mealtime walking a squirmy, shrieking 1 year old around outside of the restaurant.  The remainder of my time is spent with my 4 year old in the bathroom.  Sure, might be the responsible thing to do, but just once I’d like to be like the parents at the pizzeria.  Plus, think about how much they save on babysitters – If I could just find that switch, I’d save a bundle!  Must. Find. That. Switch.

Have you been able to find the parenting off switch (even if your kids are there with you)?  How do you do it?