My Kind of Mom

• Moms who talk about “that one time their child had a tantrum”…and thank goodness that they made it through that one tantrum, because they couldn’t have handled another.  I especially like when they have this conversation with me as one (or both) of my children is mid-tantrum.
• Moms who can sprout a kid-friendly lunch for 10 with no planning or notice.  Oh, and it’s hot food that’s on the table within 5 minutes of one of the children screeching “I’m hungry!”.  It helps that they keep no less than 2 to 3 varieties of chicken nuggets on hand at any given time.
• Moms who allow their toddlers to play with play dough on one floor of the house while they are doing something on another floor of the house.  And nothing bad happens.
• Moms who keep their homes so clean that you’d never know that a child lives there and there’s not a toy in sight, yet they keep talking about what a disaster it is…because, you know, they have kids.

If anyone of the statements above describes you – I’m sorry, but I’m probably avoiding you.  I mean, we can get together and have dinner or drinks and be friends, but to do mommy stuff?  That’s a no.  Don’t worry – it’s not you, it’s me.

Last year I made a promise to stop comparing myself to other people’s highlight reels, and I’ve stuck by that.  I totally realize that sometimes I witness moms on their best day and I can’t compare myself to that.  I know, that just like all other moms, they have bad days too.  But this isn’t a case of comparing myself to them.  We’re different – I get that, and I’m okay with that. I just can’t handle being around moms who are so…so…so…far from who I am as a mom.

I want to hang out with moms who appreciate the word “meltdown” as it applies to a toddler…and understand that they’ll probably witness at least one if they hang out with my kids long enough.  I need to be friends with moms who understand that if you open a cupboard in my house during play group, you better duck because all the stuff I hid in it to prepare for your arrival may come tumbling down on you.  Hey, at least I cleaned in anticipation of your arrival.  I want to mingle with moms who don’t balk at the idea of me giving my child potato chips for breakfast because it’s the only thing I can get her to eat and doesn’t end up on the floor of my car.  I need mom friends who understand that the snacks I’m going to serve during our playdate might be late hitting the table.  Said snacks might also not be the healthiest choices, but a cookie here or there isn’t going to kill them.  I yearn for mom friends who are believers in the 5 second rule and don’t turn green when my child eats something off the floor.  I identify with moms who understand how disastrously wrong things can go if toddlers (specifically, my toddlers) are left alone for even a minute with Playdoh.  I need mom friends who understand that my toddlers and their toys have infiltrated my entire house and even when it’s spick-n-span, toys are still very much present.

Those are the moms that I want to hang out with.

Are there any moms that you avoid?