Yesterday we drew names for Secret Santa at my office. Ugh. I so wanted to remove my name from the little hat that went around the office but I didn’t want to appear grinch-y about the whole thing. But I am a grinch when it comes to Secret Santa. The biggest Grinch. But you see, Secret Santa and I have a…well…difficult past.
The first attorney job that I had coming out of law school had a mandatory Secret Santa gift exchange. We made peanuts, but it was mandatory that we buy each other gifts. The first year of the gift exchange we were at our holiday party at a fancy restaurant downtown when it was announced that we were all to go and exchange our gifts. I left our table, gave my gift, and returned to find a gift in front of my seat…or what I believed was to be in front of my seat. I opened the package to find various bath items. Not necessarily a gift I needed, but a nice gesture. I “oh-ed” and “ah-ed” over the bath items until the gift giver arrived at the table and saw me with the gift bag in my hand. That was when things got awkward. “Oh, um, that’s not your gift. I, uh, put that in the middle of the table. It was really intended for [insert person’s name I can no longer remember but was sitting across from me at the time]”. Mortifying. I apologized all over myself and painfully wrapped the gift back up in it’s tissue and gift bag, before handing it to it’s rightful owner.
And so I began the hunt for my gift, because it was an exchange, right? But, of course, there was no gift. That day at least. The girl who did rightfully receive the bath items, offered to share and it was an uncomfortable event for all. Especially me. Only to get more awkward 2 weeks later when the boss’ wife approached me with the highest pitched, most hand-flailing apology ever. She was the one planning the holiday lunch, so she just “didn’t even have time to think about her Secret Santa gift” until later…you know, like the 2nd week of January. At that point my boss’ wife assured me that she hadn’t forgotten about me and handed me a Sting cd. No wrapping paper. No gift bag. And the plastic cd wrapping had already removed. It should be noted at this point that I’m not even really a Sting fan. But she was sure it was “me” – a detail she probably decided when she was listening to it and decided it wasn’t “her”.
My next firm didn’t even acknowledge the holidays. I suppose with a mix of Jews, Catholics, and those who practiced no religion at all, it was just easier to ignore holidays than to celebrate them. And that worked well until a few of us decided to start an exchange. We knew each other well and knew exactly what we would get one another. And for the first year it turned out pretty well. I gave a great and thoughtful gift and received a great and thoughtful gift. My Secret Santa even got me a gag gift that fit my personality to a “T” and made me believe that again, I was getting a crappy gift. It was priceless.
But with that one good Secret Santa exchange under our belts, came the desire to include everyone in the office. And everyone wanted to be included. Which started the awkwardness that is buying your boss (who has everything and enough money in his bank account to buy anything) a $20 trinket. All in the spirit of Christmas, which he doesn’t even celebrate. I thank my lucky stars that I didn’t pull my boss’ name this year. But since the entire office has been included, the gifts have been really gone downhill – a votive (candle not included), mugs from my favorite coffee shop but no gift card to said coffee shop, and a free with purchase Estee Lauder bag full of samples. But I didn’t get the makeup that they actually purchased, just the free bag.
So by now you’re thinking, what is the point to all of this? After all, it’s the season of giving, not receiving. Here’s the bottom line – Secret Santa isn’t a license to hit the mall and buy the most random thing you can possibly find. If you don’t know what to buy, ask the person’s friends. Sure, it’s secret, but reveal yourself to a person or two to get the receiver a good gift. If you can’t find a thoughtful gift, get them a Visa gift card or just put the $20 in an envelope. Do not give the person something used, random, incomplete, or that you got for free and don’t have a use for…because chances are, your Secret Santa person, doesn’t have a use for it either. And if God forbid, you forget your gift, contact your person on the day of the exchange, let them know you forgot their gift and give it to them the next day. January is no longer Secret Santa’s domain.
Ever gotten a bad gift in a Secret Santa exchange? I’m hoping I’m not the only one…although it has happened to me repeatedly. Maybe it’s personal?
I once was given a fruit basket from my secret Santa through the church. The problem you ask” I knew it was regifted because it came with a card inside that read happy thanksgiving so and so family. I worked as a nanny for the family so already had seen the basket sitting on their counter for weeks prior. Needless to say most of turned fruit had turned and it had a bad smell. I couldnt help but laugh because I truly knew that did it to be cheap. I haven’t done the secret Santa since
Yeah, I can see how rotten fruit might make you swear off Secret Santa altogether. LOL That one might just take the cake!
Ohhh I do not like Secret Santa! We played this with my husband’s family one year & I got royally screwed! My husband and I were broke & really couldnt afford the gifts we bought but we bought them anyway. We both made calls & found out something that the persons name we drew wanted & went & bought it. The person that drew my name got a very nice jogging outfit that was name brand & in style at the time. What did I get from that person??? A .99 cent bell she bought at a gas station on the way to the party! I was furious! I know its the thought that counts but when someone is suppose to spend $50 on a gift & receives a gift worth even more than $50 & they give a 99 cent gift is ridiculous & embarrassing. A cousin got the same gift as I got from this persons spouse & was furious as well. Needless to say that was the last time we participated in Secret Santa! I felt bad & selfish that I was mad but fair is fair! If you’re going to participate in Secret Santa buy something nice that you are proud to give a person!
See Robin, I’m the same way you are. I really get into the gift giving. I try to find something that fits the person or a gift card that I know that they can use. I always end up going over the spending limit. I know you’re not supposed to (or expect anyone else to do it) but I get carried away with the spirit of giving. But when someone doesn’t even take the time to care or pick something I might like, it really puts a damper on my holiday spirit. Yes, the holidays are about giving, not receiving, but it is an “exchange” right?
Ok..I have to say I’m with you on the Secret Santa thing..but I can offer a suggestion that we did at a company I worked for years ago that also insisted we do a Secret Santa ( just so happens that year my brilliant friend was in charge!) On the paper with the name was 5 things that person was into or liked..that way there was at least a hint of what to get! I’m glad I’m in charge of Christmas at my company..we don’t do the Santa thing..instead we have the 13 days of Christmas where we raffle off a prize everyday until out company pitch in with the prizes getting bigger and better each day..might be something to suggest to your company!! Good Luck!!
Tracy, your company sounds awesome. What a great way to celebrate…plus, it’s over a period of time. I love it. Unfortunately, our firm has had a pretty rough year or two, so it’s probably not going to happen for us, but I’m glad to hear that others have things that work. Also, a good idea about the 5 gift suggestions – too late this year, but we might do that next year. Thanks!
I was laughing to my husband about this whole idea of Secret Santa the other day because he & I no longer buy gifts for each other yet we buy gifts for people we hardly know in Secret Santa exchanges.
Oh my! That is horrible! I mean really, some things are just unacceptable and the things you’ve had to experience with Secret Santa is sure to put a damper on even the happiest elf around! January??? If it’s just a CD not wrapped at all; I don’t see why should couldn’t just bring it as is. It’s not like it took much time AFTER the fact either.
Oh my goodness! How awkward! Thankfully my office blissfully ignores the holidays. The stories in the comments are pretty bad too! Love the rotten fruit basket. Gross!