About ten days after Greenleigh was born, my mom came to visit. During her stay she helped with the cooking, cleaning, laundry, dog walking, and just about everything and anything else you could possibly imagine, but most importantly, she helped with Greenleigh. She always seemed to be able to calm her down when I couldn’t. As her visit drew to a close, I started to worry. How was I going to do it on my own? In an effort to comfort me, my mom told me how my father had hired a nurse to help with my care in the first few weeks after I was born because she had no idea what she was doing. I pressed her on the issue and she eventually admitted that she had no idea what she was doing the entire time we were growing up.
Um, what? I was stunned. My mom? Have no idea what she was doing? Impossible. My mom was the mom who got us up in the morning, made sure we were to school early, helped with homework at night, and made sure we made it to bed on time, while working a full-time teaching job and tutoring kids on the side. She even got a balanced, homemade dinner on the table every. single. night. I don’t remember a time when she didn’t have it together. I’m not going to say that she never lost her cool, but there was never a doubt in my mind growing up that she knew what she was doing. She reeked of confidence. It was like she had done it before and we were her second set of kids she was parenting just for fun.
As silly as it seems, that was the very first time I realized that my mom had no idea what she was doing when she was raising us. She was winging it and I had no idea. And now, with a few years of motherhood under my belt, I know that this is what all mom’s do. It’s funny how you see things as a child versus how you see things as an adult.
Provided she never reads this blog, I’m hoping to keep Greenleigh in the dark regarding my lack of parenting knowledge as long as my mom was able to keep us fooled. She doesn’t have to know that I’m pretty much just guessing at how this whole parenting thing works, right? I mean, not until she’s in her 30s.
This week has been a rough one for me, so yesterday when Erajh said, “Guess what the new Baskin Robbins ice cream flavor is for this month?”, I took it as an invitation to go out for an after dinner treat. We drove there and got our ice cream, but there wasn’t any place to sit, so we decided to bring it home. I’m pretty sure the number one way to piss off a toddler is to go and get ice cream and then not let her eat it immediately. We promised and promised that she could have it first thing when we got home, but she promptly lost her mind. We finally got her in the car (not of her own volition) and proceeded to drive home with an all out screaming fit going on in the back seat. I begged her to stop. I promised her ice cream when we got home. I then threatened not to give her ice cream if she wasn’t good. But nothing worked. The situation was only deteriorating.
Finally, I had enough. I turned around and in my very best mommy voice said, “Stop screaming this minute. The only way you have a chance of getting ice cream is if you’re quiet all the way home.” Without giving her a chance to respond, I turned back around. The back seat went silent. And stayed silent all the way home. Even on a brief detour. After about 5-10 minutes of silence my husband looked at me and asked how I did it. I just shrugged. I had no idea. But whatever I had done, worked. We high-fived over my new powers. I mean, I didn’t have much to bargain with. And silence in the car? Well, that’s just golden.
But more importantly, she believed me. She believed that I knew what I was doing. She believed I was going to follow through. It’s days like these that I wonder when she’s going to figure out that I have no idea what I’m doing. That I’m just winging it through this whole motherhood experience. Will I be able to keep her convinced as long as my mom did? Or will she sniff it out early?
Yesterday I still had her fooled. Now let’s just keep it that way for at least another 27 years.
Congrats Jedi..you have found “The Voice”..once mastered you can use it in other situations as well…remember my trainer voice? It was just a variation of the mommy voice!
Now if only it worked 100% of the time! Unfortunately, that’s not the case…but sometimes, it’s a beautiful thing!
It is amazing, isn’t it? I also thought my mom had it all together, but she now confides in me that she was also “winging it”. Now, though, I’m thankful that she’s here to help me out, because I definitely don’t know what I’m doing!! 🙂
Ha ha ha! This was an awesome post! I totally feel like I have no idea what I’m doing so very often and always wonder how my mom did it. Funny to think she was probably feeling the same way I do. Found your blog through Mom’s Monday Mingle, thanks for sharing!